Men are from Mars
by Fish and Chipz
Summary: AU. short story, crackfic. KakashiOC. Misunderstandings ensue as Kakashi gets a new neighbour who's just dying to get herself a new boyfriend. Dedicated to Yoshiko Hatake. COMPLETE
1. Mid Life Crisis

Hello ppl! here I am with another story - Naruto, this time. Plus, it's a short story (**only 10 chapters long**), since long stories seem to hate me. I had a lot of fun typing this out. It's kind of a quirky love story.

**Warnings:** It's rather fast-paced, may have OOC-acting characters. But you should enjoy it anyway!

It's dedicated to one of my good friends, Yoshiko Hatake!

PS. This chapter is merely a introduction, and it's written in the OC's POV.

**Chapter 1**

_Mid-Life Crisis_

_-_

_You know, if men were on sticks, it'd make women's lives much easier._

………

This can't be happening.

Not only have I run out of money and most of my dignity, but the last of my precious-stored-up-for-the-trip-in-case-of-emergencies energy nougat sips and chucklit (chocolate) bars, too.

Why does this keep happening to me?

In my angry state, I found a nearby inanimate object to take my anger out on – a lamppost. I crack my knuckles and engage into a one-man (or in my case, woman) combat. Damn you! Damn you! Damn yoouuuuu!!!! I kicked the life out of the lamppost – really, the light went off, and I was engulfed in woodland darkness.

ARGGHHH!!!

I flicked my torch on and looked around nervously.

This really, really can't be happening…

Who can I blame for this?

Oh yeah -

It all started with that wretched invitation –

To a wedding in Konoha.

………

I received it three weeks ago, signed by my cousin (older than me one year, but mentally younger than me ten years), urging me to spend my summer vacation there and also attend her wedding. She is a crazy woman - With an obsession to use her evil hairbrushes on my long hair (she really likes me hair), another odd taste for peculiar fashion, and an eye for eyeing up anything of the opposite gender who has a wad of cash – hell, the guy she is marrying will be her fourth husband. Because my cousin is so up to date in her love life and I am not, my mother and father thinks it's compulsory to check up on my love-life on a regular basis.

Anyway, upon instantly seeing those ill-fated words in the poor handwriting of hers on the invitation, which had bright red lettering, I winced and expected the worse.

Weddings. I'm not really fond of them, to be honest.

I went to one once - one that could've been compared to an illegal ninja rave party - and all I could remember was me waking up with a major hangover, floating and doing nothing in particular in an onsen filled with water (which someone had obviously already bathed in), feeling like murder in my frontal lobes and I was a missing shoe. And then I realise that I'm in an actual public bath and look down to see if my clothes were still intact. They were not. End of my nightmare, hellish experience of reminiscing.

In the accursed invitation, there was a small sticky note, which said:

'_Take this as an opportunity to meet some nice, young men your age.'_

God, I've not even married yet. I don't want to. I just broke up with my psycho-ex two weeks ago. I just wanted to hide from the world these days and now she's brought me back unwillingly.

This time, I have no excuse to get out of it. My mother and father are also in Konoha too, they'll be expecting me.

'_Don't forget to bring your hair!'_

Hell, what was that supposed to mean?

Oh yeah, long hair was a must-have for women these days, fashionable ninjas have found extraordinary ways to do up their hair and turn it into a statement, but me…. I touched my abnormally short, spiky, sticky-out hair as I looked at myself in the mirror, whilst looking at my cousin's new letter, explaining how my parents have already rented out an apartment for me to live for the time being during my stay in Konoha.

Argh, I can't have them see me like… like… this.

I loved having long hair, feeling the smooth, silky feel bellowing on my back – er-hem… but an unexpected haircut appointment by a substitute hairdresser who I had a language barrier with did this to me. Sobs, my poor hair…

Thus, I lost my dignity. People can't see my like this. Honestly.

It looks like I've put my head in a blender….No, it's actually more like I've put my head in the lawnmower!

Therefore, the next day, I reluctantly booted myself out of my comforting home in the Village of the Mist, saluted my puny home-unit and made my way to the Travel Dome, with my ten suitcases lagging behind, bum-bag to carry the extra utensils, food for the long journey, and a hat on my head.

On my way, I passed a lot of ninjas. I'm not very fond of them either. But how can you be when you're practically surrounded by them? And at this threshold of a ninja-era, it's completely engulfed in latest craze of the ninja-nin-ness. Sighs. It's just the way I am. This is what I do in one complete day of twenty four hours: whine, nag, moan, tussle tussle, shop, sleep, eat, breathe, walk, complain. But mostly the first three, and possibly the last.

You can tell that I'm not a very sociable person either, I've always thought that going to nightclubs and bars would help my status, but all I did was pick up a megalomaniac of a chuunin-ninja that didn't know how to swim, hence earning the title of 'my psycho-ex'. It's amazing that he hasn't tried to kill me yet; all he does is stand at the foot of my apartment with dead flowers and bowls of ramen hoping to be romantic. All I want to do is blow up a balloon, fill it with water and drop it on his head.

I stop my musings.

Only old people think about their lives. Damn, I must be going through mid-life crisis already. How sad.

While walking down the street, I check what I have; I've got my boat ticket and money for a train – mum doesn't trust trams anymore – I also have my brick-like mobile phone (mum doesn't like new phones and prefer it if we use the old models, it's really embarrassing, I know), and my walkman. You're not supposed to carry so much luggage when travelling a great deal of distance, so I had to check in to the Travel Dome first, where they put my suitcases to be sent to Konoha. The whole process took roughly three hours because I had ten, and thus, by time I had checked everything in, it was night.

And the last ferry will leave in five minutes.

I could see it if I squinted my eyes. It was going to leave without me.

"Heeey! Waaaiiiittt! I still need to get on!"

Even though I was running for my ride and looking a right state - trying to hold my bag up properly and make sure my pants didn't fall down because the ones I had chosen to wear today didn't precisely fit snugly around my waist; someone blocks my way.

"You don't want to do this - "

Oh great, it's my psycho-ex. His name is Gouki. He has another bouquet of flowers and a packet of ramen in his hands.

I walk past him; he trails me close behind. "Yes, I do. Now get out of my way or I'll miss my boat."

He follows the direction of my finger to the bearded man at the ferry, who's untying the string to the boat. "Don't do this to me, please! Why are you leaving, anyway?"

I sigh. "Look, I've told you a thousand times, it's over between us!"

"It's not over until I say so."

"Well, I'm over with you, so there! You SUCK!" I push past him and leap greatly for my life and freedom, and crash-bang onto the boat, making it almost go under the water.

The ferry-man screams in fright. I get up, smile apologetically at him, then look at my psycho-ex who throws down his packet of ramen and stomps his feet. I mock salute him. "GOODBYEEEE!"

Wahahaha!

It felt great to be travelling for once in my wretched life. Whenever I am happy though, something always has to bring it down.

"Hey, this isn't the – "

After several hours of peaceful rowing and rocking of the boat across a quiet, dark ocean, I was suddenly hauled to my feet, the boat now rocking dangerously in the water. He pulled up in the middle of the frickin' ocean!(?)

He put the oar away. "Okay, I've taken you this far – "

I thought it was quite weird as to why I was the only one on the public ferry. Damn, I'm so stupid.

I've taken the wrong one, obviously.

No, it was even worse than that.

I blinked at the bearded man, who tied a forehead protector over his, well, uh… forehead. He was a ninja?? I blinked again in confusion and then looked at the public ferryboat – until a blob of old paint scraped off the word 'Public Ferry' to reveal a poorly painted, old and decrepit, unofficial… well, boat. An impostor! It floated to the water and my eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"Holy crap, you're a mugger!"

I've seen it in the news; mugs and thugs use vehicles and impersonate public transport, and then when the victim gets on, they take them to a secluded area - and-and….they _kill_ them -gulp- I squealed, wrapping my arms around my body tightly. Oh my god! What if he's a rapist?!

Oh god oh god oh god!

I can see my life flashing before my eyes already!!

He brought me back down to earth as he took a step towards me. Don't come any closer! I open my mouth to sc -

" – Don't – " He ordered calmly, holding his hairy, ginormous palm out to my face. " – Don't scream, young man, or you'll regret it."

_Young man?_

I looked around – he must be talking to me. Well, we're in the middle of the sea, goddamnit! it's just us - No-one could hear me scream even if I did! "What do you want?!" I screamed anyway.

He pointed at my bag.

"Argh! Please, no, no, don't kill me!"

He is silent.

"Okay, okay, you can kill me – but please, don't take my chucklit!" I screamed, holding my freddo frog bar close to me.

"Gimme your bag!" He grabbed my bag off my arm and ripped it open, going through my things. "I'll take this – " He took out my remaining money and emptied it into his palm. "And I'll take this, too - one, two, three…. nine ryo. You can keep the rest however."

I receive back two ryo. Argh!?

Before long, he went into my lady things. He looked back at me and gave me a strange look. "What are these?" He took out my undergarments – I cringed like mad.

"Uh, they're for my cousin!" I blurted out, a little embarrassed - what amazed me was the fact that I just acknowledged that I was indeed, a male. But I'm not. "My _girl _cousin!"

He really doesn't know I am a girl!

The mugger threw them into my lap, before fishing out a brick. "This is – ?"

….

…

Oh god.

"…My… phone."

"A phone?"

I nodded meekly in response. "Yar." I croaked.

"It's a crap phone." He threw it into the ocean. I whimpered as I heard a loud, woeful'splash' of the remains of my phone.

He ignored me and went through the last of my things – my food store. Looking through my heaping mountains of energy drinks, more chucklit freddo bars and Kinder Surprise eggs and even chucklit-covered onigiri, he kept them, too.

Then he goes onto my make-up kit and gives me another look of disgust. I shrug helplessly. "She likes make-up from the Mist."

"Yeah? Well, she has crap taste." He chucked away my pearl pink lipstick.

"…That's all I have."

"You're carrying a load of crap. Go out, to nightclubs and stuff, get a few girls, have fun. Geez, the wasted years of the youth these days…" He muttered to himself, before tossing my broken bag back into my lap along with my clothes, and then -

I was suddenly no loner dry and clean, but sinking into freezing, deep water. He pushed me off the boat!!

The mugger began to row back to the harbour. "Oh, and if you tell anyone about this or even tell the ANBU, I'll murder you, eat your remains, and then I'll kill you."

I think my heart just stopped.

……..

And now this concludes to where I am now.

Alone.

Cold.

Frightened.

Poor.

Hungry.

Tired.

In the woods, with no-one but the woodland creatures.

But mostly hungry.

I want chocolate….

I've completely exhausted myself by splashing helplessly towards any form of society like mad. And now, I have no clue where I am.

Where is god when you need him?

I really need a sign now!

Anything!

I can see nothing but darkness.

I sighed.

Then - there is a flash of silver. I blinked and looked around - another flash. There are a few grunts of agony following a string of 'chkkks!'.

Then someone screams.

More disgruntled noises from ninjas suffering from obvious, painful yet creative demise to their lives.

Argh! I'm on a ninja battlefield!

Here is another reason to add onto my list of 'Why I hate Ninjas'.

………

After an all-encompassing four hour walk – I eventually reach civilisation – Konoha. The gates are just up ahead. I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank god I followed the bunch of murderers, or I'd be dead, and found five and a half days later half eaten by owls and squirrels. Hmm, that's an awfully weird way of dying. Oh god, I'm so depressed – I'm even thinking about death, well I was almost – if that guy had a shuriken to slice my head clean off… or even a kunai to stab repeatedly into my chest… gulps…

I arrive at my cousin's house safe and sound – by that time, I am half dead, a zombie entering the establishment and walking towards the stairs. Her flat is common as much as the neighbourhood is seemingly boring – but then again, it _is_ five am in the morning.

"Uh, is this a bad time?"

Well, here she is. In the glory of family presence, dressed in frilly pants and undies, looking even more dishevelled than me, a little sweaty, too. Nothing else. . Her name is Hayato, but sometimes, I just call her 'OC-chan' ('OC' 'Older Cousin'). In return, she calls me 'YC-chan' ('YC' Younger Cousin'). She thinks she's sexy, smart and sultry. Maybe it's because she is. Hell, she landed herself a fourth husband - me? None. I can't compete against her even if I wanted to, or tried to. Boohoo.

"I thought you were the postman or milkman." She cringes and covers herself with her silk dressing gown. "… But mostly the postman."

I raise an eyebrow."You greet them dressed like that?"

"Well, technically, not really, but uh…." she fidgets. "Never mind… Tenka's in my house now."

Oh, Tenka is her future husband. Guess I did interrupt something."Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back some other day."

"No, no, stay. I'm sure he won't mind! Come in, come in!" My older cousin squeals, holding her arms out to me – I don't even think she needs sleep, and she doesn't even wait for me to hug her back – she grabs me and envelops me in a bone-crushing bear hug that I can see the stars that disappeared over four hours ago.

Oof, she's a lot friendlier than ever this year. A bit muscular, too. She must've been working out or something.

"You're finally here! A little off schedule and certainly early than I thought, but its okay, I stay up late on Saturdays anyway, and – oh god, what on _earth_ did you do to your lovely hair?! I was looking forward in brushing your hair for my big day! I could've styled it so nicely! You'd have looked so beautiful, but now you look like… like…"

I touch the short ends and cringe.

"… A man." She finishes in a deadpan manner, before she smiles awkwardly. "A really, really _old _man."

I cough. "Thanks."

"Tell me what happened."

My stomach growled really loudly. I shudder a little and manage a weak smile. "Yeah… I'm really hungry though."

"I've got some food out already. Where's your stuff? Why do you look so dishevelled? Why are you sopping wet?"

Argh, too many questions for one day! All I want to do is get a bed and sleep. "Uh… I got mugged on my way here, but luckily I've still got my – "

"NANI? You got robbed? Well let's go to the ANBU now!"

I jerk, remembering the guy's death threat. "N-No… honestly, just leave it…"

"You sure?!" She blinks in shock.

"Yes, let's drop it, okay?"

"Well…. Your choice…" She escorts me inside, kicking away some pillows away from the ground and flicks the TV one where there's some sappy ninja-soap opera on - about a woman falling in love with a ninja - typical.

…….

Hayato ditches her husband's needs (which I do not intend to delve my nose into for good reasons) and comes to console me while I slump in a deep, dark depression, revelling how I got mugged off a boat in the middle of the night and lived to tell the tale. I'm also finding it customary to have my body thrown over some cushions on her sofa and sink into soft and fluffy comfort while watching the sappy ninja soap-opera, which I have grown very attached to - and it's only been on for fifteen minutes.

It's six am in the morning. We are perhaps, the sad saps who are still awake at this hour.

And now, it's the break; I've already had a shower and now dressed in Hayato's spare pyjamas consisting of a pink vest top saying 'Kiss the Bitch' and matching trousers. Why she goes for stuff like these, I don't know. She's random. We all are.

Hayato scoops up a mint chocolate and pops it in her mouth. We've lowered the volume down, and we can here Tenka snoring like a pig in the background of the quiet apartment.

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's C-H-O-C-O-L - "

"I don't care how you spell chocolate; I spell it as 'C-H-U-C-K-L-I-T."

"Well, YOUR way is inaccurate, YC-chan… "

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"_Nuh-uh_."

"**Yeah-huh**, just what elementary school did you go to?"

"That's not the point. In my vocabulary and dictionary, that's how I spell chucklit, chucklit."

Hayato sighs in defeat. "Okay then, I acknowledge that you're in a loony-bin world of your own and guys grow on trees."

Yes, yes, this is my world. I'm describing the world entirely from my point of view. The world can go down on its knees and kiss my feet because I rule it now!

I change the subject before the conversation takes a wrong turn and goes down the memory lane of 'world domination'. "I think I'm going through a mid-life crisis."

She gives me a long, cold, hard, stony gaze, ad then snorts. "Mid-life crisis? You're barely twenty five."

"But I feel like dog crap on the streets."

"Stop whining, you're such a baby."

"Am not."

"Am so."

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"… I think you need a boyfriend - one preferably younger than you, too, to make you feel youthful again."

"Yeah, and get mistaken for a paedophile while I'm at it!"

"Look, just meet a guy, okay?"

I glower at her. "No, I don't want to – and how on earth did this conversation fly over to stuff - that's like the far-far-away, off-limits, Hokage-like related category of things which they don't tell the public, namely us - about the opposite gender now? Hmm?"

She shrugs "All I know is that you need one and you want one, really, you do." Then she gives me an inspecting look.

"I already had one."

"You can get another one."

I sigh. "I can't just 'get' another one."

"You're kinda already much like a boy anyway in terms of looks, even with that new haircut now."

"What's that got to do with my predicament? Can we talk about something else?"

"Okay… um… so, do you know any nice guys?"

"OC-chan!!!"

"Kidding, kidding."

I stop seething and my blood pressure returns back to normal.

"Hey, I heard there's some nice guys who's going to my wedding and they're single…"

"Shut up!"

"I don't know why you're getting so frustrated. If you had a boyfriend, all your blind fury would've been diverted away and all your troubles would be over…"

"AAARRGGHHHH!"

Right, that's it!

Maybe I really do need a man in my life again.

Well, I hoped you like the first chapter!


	2. Lonely

Okies, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Someone mentioned that I didn't reveal the OC's name in the first chapter, that's because I saved it for this one, heehee. Thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 2**

_Lonely_

'My name is Natsumi and I'm twenty two years old. I like books, porcelain cups and cooking (although I can't cook), and during the evenings I prefer homemade dinner than take-out and I'm not very used to sake, either. My hobbies include stamp-collecting, collecting ramen tokens and seashells! Oh, and I'm single.'

Hayato looks over my shoulder.

I'm already cringing. I sound like a sad, desperate loser who will marry their pet dog if no-one replies to this advert. I bet they'll take one look at this and wet themselves laughing.

It'll look awkward in the newspaper, ie, 'The Daily Ninja'.

Yeah… that's right. I've filled in a form of some kind of dating agency, 'advertising' my personality and traits, and making myself sound as bubbly and eye-catching as ever. Urgh, somehow I still feel ashamed.

Hayato starts on me already. "YC-chan… You make yourself sound like a - "

"Don't say it."

"Okay, I won't." She pats my shoulder. "So what's this about?"

I've only been in Konoha for five hours and my first destination was that dating agency who have awards for putting five hundred couples together. I don't exactly know what this was about either. After watching that ninja soap opera, I just got into the _moooood_.

"You saw it yourself. What do you think this is all about?"

"Oooh, getting some summer romance, are we now?" She giggles.

It's eleven am in the morning. She's already kissed Tenka's noodle goodbye as he went to do his ninja work. He's a jounin of some sort; I met him for only ten minutes in the living room. Hayato and I have plans for the afternoon - I've to go see my parents, who will give me the keys to that apartment they've rented for me, and I will be kicked out of Hayato's house for good. I'd rather be away from them anyway. Their mushy-wushy goo-goo interactions between them both kills me. Plus, I have to admit, I get jealous. Never ever accommodate those who are in love, although it may differ if you're with your parents. Those are my only words - heed them.

………..

"Hullo mum, hullo dad."

I am roughly bombarded with hugs and kisses from my two favourite people in the world - my mommee and daddee. It's enough to bring tears in my eyes. God, I promised I wouldn't cry!

"Natsumi! Whatever happened to your hair?!"

It's funny how the first thing that always comes in mind to people when they see me is 'what the heck happened to her hair?!'.

"Is it that bad?" I mumble.

"Well, dear, it's uh…" Mum stutters slightly, fiddling with the strap of her handbag. "Certainly…. _New_."

"…. It's horrible, isn't it?"

Dad smiles reassuringly at me. "It's fine, Natsumi, you're just thinking too much."

"Thanks, dad."

But mum still sends me worried glances.

We all begin our reunion - dad tells me that he's retired from the ANBU, and mum is now working as a midwife in the local hospital; Hayato, who is also with us, suggests that we go for a nice, long lunch. Our first destination is the main and purposeful South Konoha Plaza where all shopping needs are met. Of course, we're currently residing in South Konoha. The plaza is filled with bustling old ladies and gentlemen - most kids are at school, although I do spy some children bunking off - it kind of made me remember back to my old school-bunking off days.

"I want egg rolls."

"Dim sum, dim sum, lots and lots of dim sum." Hayato chants, practically emptying a whole dish of assorted dim sum onto her plate.

"They have sashimi here."

"Now, darling," Mum snatches the sashimi away from dad who was about to prong one into his palate. "The medic nin said you shouldn't have too many carbohydrate in your diet."

It's like a buffet in here. We get whatever we want, whenever we want. Hayato starts complaining that she'll never be able to fit into her hired wedding dress if she ate all her dim sum and attempted to put them back onto the serving counter, but the waitress never allowed her. Instead, I was dumped with all her food.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sweetie!" Hayato pushes past me without warning, calling over her shoulder. She's already getting a table for us.

I end up accidentally bumping into someone due to Hayato's action and a fried shrimp goes flying off my dish.

He catches it with his fingers.

I have to admit, I'm impressed.

"Here you go, miss." The saviour of the shrimp hands me it back. It's a good-looking male.

I have to also admit, I don't think I'd really want to eat that anymore. I look at it with an eyebrow raised in slight mortification. What actually surprised me that he sussed out that I was a female. I smile at him warmly.

"Umm, thanks."

"No problem." He smiles as well in return.

Wow, he has nice teeth. They're white and sparkly, like little pearls. I am suddenly entranced with those multiple embedded-eating utensils humans had until he clears his throat.

"Um, miss?"

"Huh?"

I realise that I'm currently also blocking his way. "Oh, right, sorry." I move out of the way, still staring googly-eyed at him. He looks over his shoulder when he feels an ominous presence (that'll be me), constantly staring agog at his retreating back. I flush and look back to my front, then sashay my way back to our table.

"He's cute." Hayato exclaims to me, elbowing me while eating her (very little) hand-picked chow.

"I know." I smile proudly.

Mum and dad are too busy bickering about me to notice that I was eyeing the guy who had helped me save a prawn from landing on the ground. I try to get a few more good glimpses of him but he has his back to me. Guess that was a one-off scenario.

"It just doesn't make her feminine and appealing!" Mum argues.

"It'll grow back, it's not that short." Dad retorts.

"She looks like a… a… mushroom!"

I perk up. Whoa, what's happening here? I look at my parents. "Uh… just what're you two arguing about?"

"Your hair, Natsumi." Mum tells me in a raw manner. "It's simply unacceptable."

"Why? It's just hair. It's MY hair." I shrug. I guess I'm kinda growing onto it. Even if my head does look like a mushroom.

Mum clutches my hand tightly and dad slaps a hand over his wrinkly forehead in exasperation, shaking his head. "No, sweetie, we'll have to do something about it before I take you match-making tomorrow. Come with me to the wig store!"

My jaw drops; Hayato starts to snigger and I growl at her. I turn my attention to mum.

"I'm not going to a wig store!"

……….

I'm going to a wig store.

I didn't even though that they existed here. Obviously they do. Since we're in one. I tried to protest. It didn't work. Even Hayato agreed. She said she thought I'd look weird in a bride's maid dress with mushroom hair. I don't know what they have against my hair; it's just weird.

What has my hair ever done to them?

I bet dad's having fun. He departed to the bar to meet up with his fellow ANBU friends hours ago. I wish I went. It's better than staying here…. Even if it meant partying with really, really old men.

Mum puts a wig she has carefully picked over my flat, pudgy head. It's tickly and makes my head rather itchy. "Uh, get that off me." I pull it off myself - it's like a clump of black seaweed in my hands.

"She looked a bit like that forbidden Orochimaru-guy."

"Hayato!" Mum snaps. "Shhh, keep your voice down or we'll be in trouble!"

Hayato holds her hands up. "Okay, okay, sorry." She teeters around the store, observing and feeling the hair up of wigs of many different colours, and finally picks one. It's another long-haired one. "Here, try this one."

I'm sitting on the stool like an experimental rat while the owner of the store (a ghost of a woman) keeps giving me strange looks; I comply to Hayato's order anyway. I put the wig on and adjust it, then glare glumly at my reflection.

Mum and Hayato stands behind me. "I quite like that." Mum says.

"Yeah, it brings out Natsumi's face-line." Hayato says in triumph.

"Good eyes, Hayato!" Mum exclaims happily, "we'll take this one, please!"

……….

For the rest of the day, I'm thrown around the shopping mall like a rag doll with my shopaholic mum and cousin. I tried to get involved, but it just felt so out of place for me. I kept seeing couples and couldn't help but feel envious, seeing how they were so in love and could do anything together.

I felt like… I wanted to feel that again.

I needed someone in my life.

I am lonely.

……….

"But you're not alone, dear." Mum says, as she helps me hang out the washing in my new balcony.

After an extensive five hour shopping session, I'm tired to the core and about to fall apart when mum and dad eventually take me to my new apartment which is several blocks away from Hayato's apartment, and a few miles away from mum and dad's rural residence.

My new home is a small one-room apartment with an equally small kitchen, but a medium sized dining room conjoined living room to compensate for the lack of space in this house. It's a good thing I'm not claustrophobic. So far, the only furniture is a portable mini-fridge which is full of cold bento boxes mum made for me; my huge stacks of chucklit; a foldable bed in the bedroom; a foldable mah-jong table to act as a desk and a dinner table; and a kettle. So far, almost everything else in my house is foldable, minus the washing machine and kettle, though.

Hmm, it looks really empty.

Too empty.

"I know I have you and dad, and Hayato, but…. It's different." I whined, placing pegs over my shirt that keeps flapping in my face. It's quite windy today. My wig is about to fall off if I don't adjust to it soon.

I pick up my underpants and hold it up with a frown. I think there's a problem when they're bigger than your head - and mine is. Ack!

Mum takes the piece of laundry off me and hangs it herself. "Silly girl. Don't worry, you'll be fine tomorrow. I have a few lads up for 'sale'!" She laughs, and goes to pick up the last piece of laundry - my newly purchased bra which mum forced me to buy in the lingerie store today.

"Mum, you should take a rest. You helped move my ten suitcases in and dad wasn't here to help. Plus, you also moved the washing machine. Now go inside, sit down - I'll put the fan on - and make yourself a cup of jasmine tea or something." I pull the underwear from her hands.

She grabs it back. "Nonsense, Natsumi, I may be old but it doesn't keep me from working."

"Mum, just let me do it." I snatch it from her.

Oh god, I can't believe I'm fussing with my mum over a bra that's to be hung on the laundry line.

The object that was being fought over was suddenly flying out of our hands. I guess we were fighting over it so much, that I had let go by accident. It goes sailing into the air and eventually returns to earth, and lands on my next-door neighbour's balcony, over a fuchsia plant.

….

"Oh my god!" I shriek, rushing over to the right; trying to lean over the banister to see where my underwear was. I almost topple over and fall down three stories, if mum wasn't there to pull me back.

Mum blinks unthinkingly at me. "What… just happened?" She looks at her empty hands. "Natsumi?"

"I'll tell you what's happened! My bra's rocketed to my next door neighbour's balcony, lying over a plant pot, that's what happened!" I yell in fury. "Now what do I do?!"

Mum immediately shifts into action. "Quick, I'll get a long pole and we'll try to hook it up."

"Okay, okay!"

Suddenly, I am very fearful over my underwear.

Or… my dignity.

Or both.

"Do you think it'll work?" I whimper.

"I hope so."

……….

It didn't work.

Mum leaves me to go home and cook for dad, and I'm left a wreck. I'm sick with worry over my underwear. She was worried too, but I assured her that I'd be fine. Argh, I never knew I'd think about the safety of my underwear so much like this before. It's a new and totally random feeling.

Okay, okay, so my underwear is in my next door neighbour's balcony, how do I get it back? We tried the stick - it didn't work, only prod the wretched piece of underclothing onto the ground.

I could climb over and retrieve it, but I'll be in risk of killing myself, so I won't go there.

I sigh. Time to stick back to the old-fashioned way….

………

My knees are quaking when I knock on the door.

I think I'm going to throw up.

_Calm down_, I think, _I'm just rescuing my bra! _It's there, in a place which is it is unfamiliar with, and lonely. All I have to say is: 'I left a little something in your balcony, and if you don't mind, I'd like to retrieve it, thank you'. If my next door neighbour is a woman, she'll understand completely and we'll have a laugh about it over a cup of tea.

But what if it's a man?

I think I'll pray to God for mercy.

If he has mercy on me, that is.

So far, I don't feel like I have any.

There is no response at the door. A part of me is relieved, and I spend a couple of more minutes staring dumbly at the 'Home Sweet Home' mat at this person's front door. Instead, the door opposite opens, and a heavily-pregnant woman comes out with a binbag.

"Oh," she perks up, "Hello there, you must be our new neighbour."

I turn back to her, and laugh uneasily. "Uh, yeah, I am. Oh god, let me help you with that."

"No, it's okay, really."

"I insist."

She smiles cheerily at me. "Oh, go on then. Thank you very much."

I help her move the abnormally heavy (and smelly) binbag to the doors which lead to the staircase, where apparently, all the trash is kept.

"I'll tell you all you need to know around here. The rubbish is collected every Sunday morning and there's actually two separated bins - one for newsprint, the other for the usual trash and stuff. They have recycling bins downstairs, too."

"Oh, okay."

"I'm Mina by the way," she shakes my hand warmly.

"Natsumi." I sort of scrutinize her bulging belly. "So… how many months are you?" I hope that wasn't too rude.

"Seven."

"Gosh, really?"

"Yea, I know, it's the size of a ball. Bigger, actually." She chuckles.

"Umm…." I did not know what to say.

"Were you looking for Hatake-san earlier on?"

"Uh….?" I have a bad feeling in my stomach.

"Oh, his full name is Hatake Kakashi, he's your next door neighbour."

"'He'?"

Mina nods, smiling as we both walk back to the landing. "Yes, he's a jounin, very friendly man. Quite charming, too. Occasionally babysits for me."

I choke. _Man? _Argh, god.

Why is fate so cruel to me?!


	3. Weak

Thanks for the reviews, guys, they were awesome! Anyway, I think her hair is more like Naruto's, only a bit longer, you know - so that she still has some of her female pride in her.

**Chapter 3**

_Weak_

Mina invites me over for tea and I meet her two 'lovely' twins who never listen to what she says - boys, too. Youji and Youki - seven years old each. Her husband was currently on a mission - so she was left to look after the children. It sounds like she has a pretty decent life, still young and already having kids, and a husband who sounds decent, too.

"I'm just your average housewife." she smiles again, then snaps at the twins for fighting over a toy kunai. "I only get peace when they're at the academy."

She's only three years older than me, yet we both talk about the same thing. Problems with men, kids and life precautions. I've made a friend already. She tells me about the other neighbours - an old lady who lives below us who just loves to nose around in other people's business. A middle aged man who does everyone's plumbing and also works at the ninja academy, and he's divorced. There is also a young couple living on the ground floor with relationship problems. Wow, that's quite a small house block I'm living in, but I didn't mind.

"Say, uh… Mina?"

"Yes?"

"Would you happen to… uh… like… have a spare key to Hatake-san's apartment, would you?"

Mina thinks for a moment. "No, no, now that I think about it. Sorry."

"Oh." I am majorly disappointed.

"He's always away from his house most of the time, always busy."

Hell, what if he doesn't come back at all and I can't get my bra back?

In fact….

I guess I can live like that.

……….

I've had plenty of embarrassing moments, but this is possibly the worst.

I'm seriously not having the best time I thought I would've had in Konoha. This was meant to be a vacation, goddamnit! Well, it can still count as a vacation, but a vacation of H.E.L.L. Or maybe I'm complaining too much. Tomorrow I'm going match-making. I hope it turns out good. Mum better knows what I'm looking for. She knows me better than an other people, so there'd be no excuses. If one who I don't like turns up.

Is it so much to ask for? All I do want is a nice guy who'll take care of me properly and treat me equally and nicely. I hope he's a good cook, too. I want him to be good-looking, strong and smart.

Maybe I'm being picky too?

Argh! Okay, okay! I'll settle for any guy who shows interest in me! Too bad guys really don't grow on trees. Sniffles. I break down on my sofa and think back to my psycho-ex…. Maybe I should go find him…?

………

In the middle of the night, there is a loud slam of someone's door and I wake up, cursing and grumbling. I actually don't recall myself falling asleep, I'm still on the sofa and covered in a puddle of my dried drool, plus, I'm shivering; it's really cold at night here. I'm hungry and still tired. I wipe off the drool from the corner of my mouth and waddle towards the end of the living room to the balcony; I can see a dull light in the corner….

I unlock the balcony doors and step into the fresh air. Oh god, I think Hatake-san's back. His light is on. I can even see a shadow moving around.

For a few seconds after I go back inside and put on my slippers, I debate mentally whether or not I should go and retrieve it, while pacing up and down on my tatami mat. If I do go and own up, I'll be embarrassed and ashamed. If I don't, he might find it and start a 'lost and found' search and it might eventually lead to me having to claim it. Argh, both consequences are exactly the same! What exactly have I got else to lose apart from my reputation?

I wave the last of my morals away to extinction and muster all my puny strength and courage to unlock my front door.

Wait -

I run back to my room and get my wig.

I don't know why I did. I propped it on and then left the safe sanctity of my house.

My hand shakily raises to his neatly-polished front door, and I knock, hand trembling. I'm crapping myself badly. Then I quickly bring my clenched knuckle back down and start sobbing on the spot with regret.

The door opens.

I suck my gut in. No time for cowardice here, Natsumi!

My eyes find gold - that is, if you count the two fine, rather muscular bare arms this neighbour has, as 'gold'.

A fit man wearing a white vest and black training pants is in the doorway. He has silver hair and he has a hand covering the lower side of his face. I can only see one eye so far - and he's making me feel a really weird and creepy sensation that's running down my spine. He looks tired - his eye is half lidded.

I'm suddenly reduced to a pile of goo and my gut falls, along with some layers of held-in stomach flab.

Oh crap, it's worse than I thought. I'm getting shy. We stare at each other for a moments in utter, awkward silence.

Do I even look okay? I don't think I checked my reflection. Plus, I just remembered that I still have my bunny slippers on.

"May I help you?"

I swallow. "Sorry, it's late and uh… the other neighbours said that you weren't usually in and now that you are in then I thought that I'd go and - "

He blinks.

Maybe I should get to the point?

"Uh… I er…. Kinda… um…. "

"…..?" He's confused.

I'm stammering and burning red in the face fiercely; my hands are sweating and my fingers are unfurling and then curling up again.

"I…. left something." I bubble and squeak. "In your balcony. Today."

"Uh… I'll go check."

"WAIT!" I scream with a hand out, before he can move.

He stops, and turns back to me. I bring my hand back and try to think of an excuse so that I could get it myself. "Um, it's kind of…. Er… _Personal_. I know where it is in your balcony, may I come in so I can retrieve myself?"

"… Sure." He holds the door open for me and I march inside with my stomach in a knot.

I hurriedly make my way to the balcony; my next-door neighbour shuts the door and puts on a sweater where it has an extra large collar that can even hide his face.

"I'll go open that for you." He opens the balcony for me.

"Thanks." I flip-flop into the balcony and instantly begin scrambling around. It's dark, and it's hard to see.

Beside me, the jounin aids me, and this makes me go into social facilitation-mode. I. Must. Find. It. Quick!

But -

I can't find it (!).

Arghh! Where could it be?

"… Is this it?" He says.

I turn to him ever so s-l-o-w-l-y, in horror, in terror. I'm feeling mortified. I don't want to know what he's found. I just want to run and hide.

He holds my undergarment in his hand, with a raised eyebrow, but his expression is the usual.

Gasp. Shock. Horror. I want to say 'no', but I can't.

"…. Um. Yes. It is."

………….

Hayato laughs at me over the phone.

"It wasn't funny. It _isn't _funny." I grumble at her, while at the same time trying not to crush the cordless phone in my hand into dust. "I felt like I wanted to break down and cry!!"

"But he was still good-looking, wasn't he?"

"I don't know! He was wearing a freakin' mask! Damn ninjas!" I groan in anguish and frustration. "Can I leave town and learn a jutsu in which allows me to switch faces or something?!"

Hayato snorts with laughter again.

"What do I do now?" I moan tearfully. "He's probably checked my size…"

My cousin goes serious. "You do know what this means, don't you?"

"No, what does it mean?" I wail unhappily, sniffling into a hanky.

"It means…"

"What? WHAT???"

"It means you have to…"

I waited.

"Screw him! Screw him shamelessly, screw his puny little brains out, then leave him before you're left with his unwanted baby!" She hisses.

I drop the phone on my toe.

"Natsumi? Natsumi?? You still there?"

I pick it back up. "That didn't help at all….!" I howl into the receiver. God, so this is what my agony aunt has to offer, eh? I feel so weak and helpless…. Ineffectual.

"It wasn't meant to." She says truthfully, and then she laughs again. "So, uh… (snort) how do you feel now?"

"I've got indigestion…!"

………….

So, what lesson had I learnt?

I don't know. In fact, I don't even care anymore. I'm sitting rigid in my seat waiting for my match-maked man to come and make me happy. Actually, it's been twenty minutes. He's late. In other words, he'd stood me up. And mum is beside me, trying to keep me from thinking unhappy thoughts by questioning about my bra. Although right now, I really do not want to talk about it anymore.

"Did you get _it_?"

"Yes."

"Who was your neighbour?"

"A man."

"Oh, I see."

Mum starts to giggle.

Why is everyone being so unsupportive towards me?

A certain mushroom-headed guy comes swarming up to us in the half-empty cafe. "Ah, Yagami-sama!"

Mum smiles with glee. "Gai-san!"

Oh gawd. Is this him? I watch this green giant sit down opposite us. "What a coincidence seeing you here on this lovely day! Ah, and this must be your lovely daughter!" He says, grinning at me. I'm just transfixed by his mushroom hair-cut. Perhaps my hair is just like his? No, it's a lot sticky-out. I blink slowly at him. Mum elbows me.

"Natsumi…?"

"Ah - oh. Uh, nice to meet you."

He takes my hand. "Yagami-sama has spoken a lot about you, but you are much serene in person!"

I just… stare. And stare.

Mum suddenly has an evil idea. And it did not concern my opinion. "Gai-san, are you busy now?"

He ponders. "No, just going to get some lunch - why do you ask?"

"I would like to treat you to lunch right now, if you don't mind!" She puts on a sweet smile, too.

"Mum, what are you - "

"Natsumi, quiet!"

I stay quiet.

"Well, sure!" Gai accepts this invitation thoroughly.

"Please, sit beside Natsumi." Mum shoves him beside me.

I begin to sweat. Oh my god; she's trying to hook me up with him. I know what she'll do next -

"Oh my, look at the time. I need to be going, Natsumi's father isn't a very patient man and his blood test is now! I need to go to the hospital, fast." Mum gets up and slings her handbag over her shoulder.

My jaw drops. I've just been betrayed!!

"Natsumi, dear, will you accompany Gai for lunch today?"

I look awkward. "S-Sure…"

………..

Gai is…. Very talkative. He's a jounin, with a team - Rock Lee, Tenten and Neji. He explains to me how work could be a killer and how he was training twenty four seven to keep up with his 'eternal rival'. I listen, and in return, tell him about how I was mugged and left to drown. He takes an immediate response, and says he'll report my robbery to the ANBU. I still refuse. It's not because of the death-threat… it's just…. I can't be arsed anymore. My life sucks. I'm dealing with it.

"I have to be honest." I began, eating the rest of my dessert.

Gai actually only ordered a salad to keep with his strict diet. "Yes? You can tell me anything, Natsumi-chan."

"…. I hate ninjas."

He takes it like a dagger to his heart. "Why?"

"Because one stole off me and they kill too much."

Gai tutted. "Natsumi-chan, I'm surprised at you."

"Go on, tell me, tell me I'm dumb and stupid and don't act my age. It's okay, Gai-kun, really. I'm sick of life's precautions and woes."

"Natsumi-chan, I only have a proposition for you."

"What's that?"

"Will you come with me to our training grounds?"

……….

I'm at the Ninja academy, and I've met Lee, Neji and Tenten. Lee is just a miniature of Gai; I mistook him as Gai's son; I was thoroughly amazed to hear that Rock merely looked up to Gai a lot. Anyway, my only task here was to observe their training session for today. Their spot was just the woods - Gai made a seat of leaves for me to sit on to be comfortable. I didn't really get the message and got bored after five minutes, but still observed silently. All I witnessed was Rock doing ten thousand push-ups, Tenten constantly throwing shurikens at straw people and never missing, and Neji practising sparring with Gai.

Their training session ended when it was sunset, roughly around dinner-time.

"So, Natsumi-chan, did you learn anything?" Gai asks, once all of his team members bid me farewell and left for home until the next training session.

"Uh… I'm not… too sure." I blurt out truthfully. "But… I have a rough idea."

"Care to tell me?" He grins. His sparkly teeth was different than the ones from others.

"Not all ninjas kill…. Your team demonstrated that to me today. They all have their own goals and targets, and something big in life they're looking forward to. They're fighting in the name of good. Or something like that, I don't know, I'm just guessing." Wow, that was cheesy.

"'Ninjas kill'…. Why did you ever think about it that way anyway?"

"Well, when I was mugged, I swam ashore, and I… ended up in the middle of a ninja battlefield. It was dark, but I could hear so many people being killed. It… scared me. I've never wanted to be a ninja in my life, Gai. I just can't live like that." I cringe in embarrassment. "… Does that make me weak?"

He laughs. "No, of course not. Don't be silly. You don't have to be a ninja if you don't want to. Nobody can ever force you to do something you don't want to do. You should never feel that way, Natsumi-chan."

I smile faintly. "Yeah, you're right. You're very, very right."


	4. Misunderstandings

Oops, I haven't remembered to update this for some time. So sorry!

**Chapter 4**

_Misunderstandings_

I trudge up to my puny apartment unit and take out my keys slowly, feeling rather satisfied with myself today. That's me made another new friend and learned something for once in my life that is worth to remember. I'm glad. In fact, I think I'll go for a take-out; I'm in that mood. No more cup noodle and water from the flask for dinner today; I'll get myself some gourmet to eat. I don't even insert my keys in and turn away from my door, back to the stairs.

"Yo!"

I shriek and almost slip.

My next door neighbour catches me by the arm before I tumble and get the chance to split my head open. I look at him and flush; remembering yesterday's case. What is he doing here?

"Oh god, it's you. Where'd you come from??"

He helps me back onto my feet, and scratches the back of his head. "Ah, see, I was about to get onto that. I locked myself out of my house."

"You're a ninja, right? Why don't you poof back in?" I cross my arms over my chest. I don't want to talk to this guy.

"I'm not a robber."

"But it's your own house."

"I've exhausted my chakra."

"Oh." _Then why didn't you just say that instead?_

"I was actually waiting for you."

I irk. "…. _Me_. You were waiting… for me? Why me?"

He blinks sluggishly. He looks even more tired than ever. I was afraid he'd might faint in front of me. Instead he sort of leans forward to me a little. "This is quite embarrassing - "

"I'm listening."

It can't be as embarrassing as what happened to me, right?

"I was hoping you would let me into your house and I could cross over from your balcony to mine."

That's it (?).

"Oh, right. Well, sure." I ram the key in and unlock my door.

The jounin takes his time to peek around and inspect my home; currently engaged in staring endlessly a my foldable mah-jong table which was covered in rubbish. I roll my eyes when I unlock the balcony door and slide it open for him. "It's open."

He digs his hands into the pockets of his green jacket. "Look, I know we kind of got off at the wrong foot yesterday."

"…. Uh, not that now, please. I'm humiliated enough already." I hold up a palm. I'm having really bad memory flashes now. They're swimming around my brain and won't just leave me alone.

He chuckles; it's rather muffled because of his mask. "I would just like to know your name. I'm Hatake Kakashi."

"…. Yagami Natsumi." I comply. _Now get out!_

He scuffles his shoes as he walks to the balcony. "Sorry about yesterday anyway, Yagami-san."

I blink. "… Why are you apologising?"

"You looked really upset when I found… _it_."

I cringe, feeling like a ton of bricks had fallen on top of my head. Instead, I force a grin. "…Thanks for your concern, Hatake-san." I say through gritted teeth.

I look at my feet for a moment as he leaps on the banister and steps over to his. He's almost back into his house - and the next thing I know - I suddenly run up to the edge and lean over the railing.

"Hatake-san?" I see a blob of silver poking from the doorway.

"Yagami-san?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Next time, when you find a girl's bra on your balcony - Don't _ever_ mention about it _ever _again - especially to the owner!" I hiss threateningly at him. Then I smile sweetly at him. He blinks in confusion. "Just a word of advice, _Hatake-san_."

………….

"So… you shouted at him for giving you back your _la brassiere_?" Hayato sniggers over the phone.

"Not… really. Just told him off - sort of."

"Wow, that must've taken a lot of guts. I'm proud, YC-chan."

"Yes, it did. I am proud of myself."

"Proud to make a guy your 'enemy' once in your life, eh?"

"Of course!"

Wow, I really am very proud of myself.

……..

The next day, me and Kakashi both exit our houses at roughly the same time in the morning. He gives me a look as he locks his door. I pretend I don't realise that he's twenty inches away from me.

"Grocery shopping?"

I grit my teeth and hold my hand up. "Talk to the hand! I don't talk to men who have seen my underwear and aren't even related to my love life."

Kakashi blinks, and then, there's a grin growing under his mask. He follows me down the stairs. "Yagami-san, you don't like me very much, do you?"

I ignore him.

He suddenly 'poof's in front of me and I try to slow down my heart.

"… You're in my way." I interject at him fiercely.

"What did I ever do to you?"

Frowning, I push past to the left, but he blocks my way. I move to the right; he does the same.

"O-kay, I've dealt with stalker-ish behaviour before - leave me alone."

"Answer my question."

"I don't have time to stand here idle and engage in conversation with the likes of you."

"Neither do I."

I growl. He grins. "I take it you pick on random persons you see in life for your sole entertainment?"

"As a matter of fact, _no_." I march past him and stalk outside. He's still following me. I turn to him sharpish.

He looks innocently at me. "I'm just grocery shopping. What is your problem?"

"My problem?? **MY** problem?"

He shrugs.

I open my mouth.

"_It's just because you're a man, an incredibly decent man with a fit body to drool over and we happened to meet over extremely embarrassing circumstances where my bra flew over to your balcony and I had to retrieve it, plus, I'm pressurised by my family to get a boyfriend and I just had a really nasty haircut and I'm wearing a frickin' wig!"_

What? I was about to say all that?

I loosen up a little. "I'm just… embarrassed - over what happened. It shouldn't have, and it will never ever happen again. It was a mistake."

"Well, then," He suddenly corners me to the wall. My back is up against brick. Ack - what is happening - ?! "would you prefer it if I did somehow 'relate' your love-life?" he says smoothly - yeah, real smooth.

Oh god.

"Yagami-san?"

I burst out from my atrocious, rather dirty thoughts. No, Kakashi did NOT corner me. He's very well in front of me, but NOT cornering me - and he certainly did not volunteer to be a part of my love-life.

"Embarrassed, huh? Well, then, let me make it up to you." he scratches his chin.

"Uh… How??"

……….

Why did I even accept?

Hatake-san - or Kakashi, as he would like me to call him, suggests a nice place in Konoha - Ichiraku Ramen Stand. Not exactly a nice or clean place for food, and it's still noodles that's their specialty. I was trying to get away from them, but alas, I cannot.

"Is something wrong?" He asks.

"No… nothing…" I mumble. I'm starting to feel a little rotten. Here is a guy who actually has the decency to say sorry to me and is even treating me out for tea and it should be me who should be saying sorry because I was the one who littered his balcony with my undergarments.

So we did stay here. I wonder if there was anything on the menu that was not served with fishballs. There seemed to be none. I don't even know what I want to get, so I order the same one as Kakashi has. It's something meat-related though. I look at my bowl set in front of me; there's some pork bits floating along, followed by a few clumps of steaming lettuce.

"Eat up, Yagami-san!" he exclaims cheerfully, taking his chopsticks and making them hover dangerously above a piece of stray noodle that would be lodged down his oesophagus in a matter of minutes.

"… Yeah." I take one suspicious sniff and ram it into my mouth. It just tastes like regular ramen.

I turn back to Kakashi after my first taste to report about my findings on the food here. His bowl is empty. I don't think I even want to know what he has done with it. It's probably a ninja thing.

"You finished already?"

He nods. "I see you aren't." He taunts.

I blink stupidly at him, then try to hurry up my pace by scooping up more noodles into my big gob. I sort of drooled now and then; I must be really power-hungry or just starting to like the noodles here. He did tell me that this was a tourist attraction of Konoha. Oh, and you know that feeling when you're eating and someone's watching you? I have that right now.

"What? You find me stuffing my face full of ramen rather amusing to watch or something?" I mumble, trying to hide my face behind a small stack of toothpicks.

"Well, what do you think of it?"

"… It's good."

"Yeah."

"Yeah…"

"Yagami-san?"

"What?"

"I guess this is the first time in years in which I've had an appropriate dinner with someone - a girl, too."

I ponder for a while. "Yeah, me too, I think - well, with a guy."

I finally finish my noodles and we sit in silence as my bowl is waiting to be collected; the rest of the shop is rather busy, so we just twiddle our thumbs and look around, cough once in a while and look straight forward.

"Is this your first time in Konoha?" He croaks out, after a long term of silence.

I nod. "Yeah, it is. My parents are here, and so is my cousin. What about you? I mean - your relatives and - "

"Oh, I don't have any."

I stop, then drop the subject. "Right, sorry."

"It's alright."

My lip purses, and I pick off a leftover fishball and prop it into my mouth.

"So…" He begins.

I'm still chewing, about to swallow.

"… You're single, right?"

I choke on the enzyme-covered fishball. Kakashi pats my back and I hack it out all over the table.

I inhale and exhale deeply once my incident of choking is over, then I turn to him, my eyes brimming with tears. There's no use hiding it anymore. "… Yeeeeeesss!" I moan in anguish; and then I flop my head onto his chest, sobbing. "I'm lonely and singleeeee - ahawwwhawwhawww….!"

"There, there," he pats my back soothingly; people in the shop are giving us odd looks. "We've all been there once."

His flask of sake comes up on our side of the table, but I take a swig out of it before Kakashi can. "Sorry," My tears dribble all over him. "Can I drink some?"

"Sure, sure."

I finish off the flask by accident, I'm so upset I don't even notice; Kakashi has ordered another flask to come, but I've snatched it again and downed myself with it. I hiccup, and I feel very sick all of a sudden.

"Yagami-san, are you okay?"

"Yeah… I'm… okay… yeah, yerrr…."

I'm suddenly also feeling really, really… weird. I think I'm floating… I feel great…. I'm… flying…the world is grovelling at my feet… haahaaa….. I'm drifting into the Garden of Eden, and Kakashi with a little leaf sprouting from his head is in a patch of mud; I can tell he's rather naked but my vision is blurry, I can't see his face properly or anything. I just know it's him. He's lying alongside other naked men waiting for me to water them so they can grow into a tree - I have a metal spade and I start shovelling mud over him.

My very own Kakashi tree…. Wow, guys really do come trees then?

_No, they come from Mars, dipshit._

Oh my god.

I am burying someone alive.

………..

I wake up from that horrible and disturbingly creepy nightmare and instantly cling to the softest, furriest thing available to me for comfort - I wonder what I'm holding onto - it's like a squishy teddy bear - lucid warm, too - it turns out to be a dog that's been licking my face for the past five minutes. I groan and shake my head; it's throbbing like mad. I must've had too many sake to drink. Ack… where am I? Has Kakashi left me in an alleyway to die? That'll be awesome. He'd be doing me an actual favour in helping rid a wretched soul like me out of her misery.

"I see you like Pakkun a lot." Kakashi is leaning on a chair opposite me.

No, I'm not in alleyway, I'm in his room, I think - no, house. No, he hasn't left me to die either. In fact, he must've dragged my sorry ass from the ramen stand back here. My face burns up in embarrassment.

"Who's Pakkun?"

"Down here."

In my arms is a small brown dog. I drop it, the dog plunges to the ground, cursing.

"It talked -- and it swore!" My jaw drops too.

"Of course, Pakkun can talk." Kakashi smiles as the dog named Pakkun scampers over to him. "He's my summon. Along with a couple of others, but they're rather shy."

"Uh…." I look at myself; I'm in my underwear. "AHH!" I glare at him accusingly and in disbelief, "You took advantage of me!!!"

"Whoa! No, I did not. You were bent on removing your outer layers yourself. I could not stop you."

"Excuse me?!" I'm still flushing brightly. "You couldn't stop me? Why couldn't you _stop_ me, huh?"

He has no excuses this time and just seems engrossed in looking at his flip-flops where his huge toes stick out. I crawl out of the bed groggily, almost tripping over my feet. I pick up my clothes and turn to Kakashi expectantly. He's still staring at his feet. I clear my throat.

He perks up. "Do you want some water?"

"I'm going to change, goddamnit!"


	5. Pursuit

Thanks for the reviews! This chapter is a little wack :D

**Chapter 5**

_Pursuit_

"He asked me if I was single at the ramen stand! What kind of guy asks a girl that?"

I am currently pacing the tatami mat floor once again, belting out all my problems into the receiver. After stomping three steps from Kakashi's home back to mine, well, I've been feeling out of place ever since.

"One who's interested in you, and single himself, that's what." Here goes Hayato Agony Aunt again. Funny how I always go to her when I need help.

"But he didn't act interested at all."

"Sweetie, didn't you know that guys always do that?"

"… No!" I spat at her.

"Why are you so bothered by this?"

"I.. don't know."

"Is it because he's ugly?"

"What? I don't know! I've not seen what he really looks like anyway - he's seemingly only got one eye and hair! I don't care anyway."

"Wow, so… you're the ones who go for personality, huh?"

"Well…. Yeah…"

"Maybe that's why you have no boyfriend."

"Hey - ! That's not true…" I mumble. "Well, anyway, now what do I do? What do I do?"

"Flirt."

"What? No way!" I'm squawking like a chicken.

"Why not? Sweetie, in order to get the things we want, we have to chase, we have to fight, we have to pursue them!"

"But I can't!"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because, _because_!"

"Now you're just being silly."

"I just can't, okay? It's not in me, and he is a not-so-good man anyway, okay?"

"… So?"

"He reads _Icha Icha Paradise_. I saw it on his desk!"

"I read it (?). So what's the problem? What's _your _problem? What have you got against the book?"

"Urgh! Good night!" I slam the phone down.

I am certainly **NOT** going to flirt with Hatake Kakashi tomorrow!

**Tomorrow….**

Kakashi's half-naked in his balcony.

It was early in the morning and I woke up after hearing somebody busy clattering around the place. I'm groggy and cranky, but when I shuffle out to the balcony doors and see a quick flash of pale skin, I can't help but look now - and I even pretend that I'm watering my potato plants just so I could see what he was doing.

"Good morning, Yagami-san!" He exclaims cheerfully, while giving his Pakkun-dog a bath. So that's what he's doing.

The dog's currently standing in murky hot water coated in a fresh layer of bubbles while Kakashi squeezes excess water from a sponge. Because he's half naked, there is nothing covering his face - and he makes no attempt to show his face to me - he didn't even turn around.

"How'd you know I'm outside?" I mumble.

"Pakkun told me. Said that you were watching me from the balcony doors. Wait, I'm almost done."

I cringe. Damn you, dog!

"I'm only watering my tubers." I say - I really am anyway. My potato plants are growing a little day by day.

Speaking of growing… it's about time I measured how much my hair's grown for the past few days. I can't wait until I lose the wig.

"Yagami-san?" He begins, once Pakkun shakes himself and droplets of flea-infested water spray all over him.

"What now?"

"Sorry about yesterday."

My face falters. He's apologising again? Suddenly, I feel guilty and rather angry at myself. "…. I overreacted. It was childish and silly. It's okay, honestly."

……………

"He's flirting with ya, baby."

I've phoned Hayato five minutes after that scenario. I'm so confused. I need help.

"Why me?" I'm currently lying on my sofa with the phone tucked against my ear, supported securely on my shoulder.

"He obviously likes you, stupid."

I recoil in embarrassment. "…. You really think so?"

"Yar, indeedy."

"Ah… I don't know what to do. He doesn't seem like a bad person to me. I was just assuming too much, I guess. God, I'm such the retard."

"You're not. Go and flirt back, like what I told you yesterday."

"Umm…."

"Go on, have _fun_!"

I croak. "…. But… this alone doesn't support your theory on his affection towards me."

"Then what do you want him to do?"

"I… don't know."

"Exactly. What've you got to lose then, eh?"

"Guess you're right."

It's time to fight fire with fire!

**Ten minutes later…**

He's still out in the balcony, this time watering his precious plants; I've been watching him for almost five minutes now. He moves to get more water for his watering can. I quickly pry my balcony doors open and get ready.

Kakashi returns. "Yagami-san? What are you doing?"

I smile as I lay out my mat. "I'm doing my morning aerobics."

I'm only wearing a sports-bra, which actually doesn't really fit me, and shorts in hope of showing my not-so-perfect body, hence why I am doing 'aerobics' or trying to, anyway. I guess you can call that 'flirting' - argh, I'm embarrassed and feeling out of place! But I guess Hayato is right. In order to get what we want, we have to fight and pursue them. So I guess I'm 'pursuing' Kakashi. Damn, that just makes me sound like a desperate little tart.

I stretch a little; Kakashi sends me glances now and then, but he waters the very last random flower longer than the others while still watching me. I think I stretch backwards too much, because I can hear this sickening _crack_, and then this 'ripping' noise. I'm suddenly welling up inside with pain. Nothing but pain and agony and discomfort.

"OWW!" I'm writhing on the mat like a maggot.

"Natsumi?!"

"I… I can't breathe…" I squeak. "But.. I'm okay… I think. Aaack…"

He rushes over to his banister. "What happened??"

"Just pulled a muscle… in my back. This - wasn't supposed to happen." I'm cringing, and I use a flimsy hand to touch my back - I have a large, vertical tear in the back of my sports top. "Ahh, I even ripped my top…." I get up groggily and hold onto the banister for some balance. "I'm fine, honestly."

"Do you want some help?"

"No, I don't want waste your time - but yeah, that'll be good - I just want a seat…"

He steps over the banister, leaps down to my balcony and holds me up by my arm. I lean on him while he accompanies me to my foldable sofa. "Do you need anything else?" He's smiling under his mask, I know; I can tell.

"No, that's okay. You've been very helpful…" I smile back at him.

"Okay then, don't go hurting yourself anywhere else!" He gives me one last look, and leaves after that.

I don't know why, but my heart's pounding. Did it work?

………….

After my incident of back-pain terror was over, I've limped down to the weekly store after realising that my _Slim-Fast _supply has gone dry in my fridge, and I also decide to fill up my basket with green food instead of the usual chocolate and crisps. I feel like eating something healthy today. Kakashi's behind me in the queue, although I didn't notice him and continue feeding my stuff on the conveyor belt until he spoke up.

I turn around, and I almost crap myself silly. "Kakashi?! What are you - ?"

"Doing grocery shopping again. There's not enough dog food. I can't believe you're here. Small world, huh?"

"Yeah, small world…" I laugh nervously as he picks up my huge stack of cauliflower, carrots, broccoli and peas. "Uh… I'm on a diet, since I eat so much chocolate all the time."

He blinks. "Diet? You look perfectly fine to me, especially this morning when you - " he shuts up.

When I buy my stuff, and get all the bags packed up, I decide to wait for him to finish. He's only got two bags and I've got five. They're immensely heavy, but I'm sure I'll manage. Besides, we live beside each other, it'll be rude and insensitive if I leave first.

"You didn't have to wait for me." He chuckles.

"Well, you and I live beside each other anyway." I shrug.

"Here, I'll take some bags off you."

"It's okay, really."

He insists.

Once we reach the apartment block, and onto the floor just below ours, an old lady comes lumbering out from a door, and she greets us. "Hatake-san! Good morning! Ah, and this must your girlfriend!"

I blush fiercely. Kakashi just laughs. I quickly babble first. "I'm his neighbour…"

The old lady fishes for her glasses and finally peers at me closely, leaning in forward. "Oh yes, yes, you're Yagami Natsumi, aren't you? I thought I've seen you before. My mistake, Mina always keeps us informed of things going around here." She giggles, then shakes my hand and pats me roughly on the back, "I'm Shujiin."

I bow in respect.

"Well, well, mustn't keep you two up. Hurry along now! Come by for crab cakes some day! You too, Hatake-san! And bring your girlfriend this time!"

When she closes the door, I shrug. "She's… friendly."

He laughs. "She tries to pair people up a lot. Like the young couple who lives on the ground floor. She tries to help them out a lot."

"Sounds like Hayato…."

"Hayato?"

"Oh, she's my cousin."

He ponders for a moment.

"… Something wrong?" I ask.

"I think I've heard that name before. What's her surname?"

"Um… she hasn't really got one… she's been married three times. But I know her real surname - "

"It's okay, Natsumi-chan, it's nothing important."

……….

We reach our floor and Kakashi hands me back my grocery bags while I unlock my door.

"Natsumi?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me get my key? I think one of my bags will burst if I try to put it down. So I'm kind of stuck here…"

"Sure, where is it?"

"In the back pocket of my pants."


	6. Affection

So sorry for the long update. I've been quite busy - again, thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 6**

_Affection_

"Hello?"

"OC-chan!"

"Natsumi? What's wrong?"

"…. Have you heard of anyone called Hatake Kakashi?"

"Well, ch'yeah, duh."

I hold my breath. "…You have?"

"He's your neighbour, dumbass. You told me his name several days ago. Of course I've heard of him!"

I sag like a deflated balloon. "Nooo-oooo! I meant, have you heard of his name before I mentioned him to you?"

"… No."

Strange, he has heard of her name. Maybe I should ask him?

"How, what's wrong, YC?" Hayato asks.

"Nothing… call you later."

"Waaait! Did you manage to flirt with him?"

"Uh…."

"Did _anything _happen?"

I sigh. "Well, he asked me to feel him up to get his keys out of the butt-pockets of his pants, does _that _make you happy?"

"Yes, yes, very, very happy!"

**Several days later…**

"Morning, Mina!"

She's out delivering the trash again so I decide to help her. I was just about to throw my rubbish out anyway.

"You're in a very cheerful mood today, what's up?" She asks with a wide smile, a hand on her back.

"Oh, nothing!"

"So, did you find Hatake-san?"

"Yeah, quite a long time ago, too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I've been quite busy…"

"Of course," we begin walking back to the landing after throwing the bags amongst the other rubbish. "Listen, when we have new neighbours, we normally invite them to have dinner with us, is that okay with you?"

I blink in surprise. "Sure! I'd love to!"

"Great, tomorrow night at six, okay? Oh, and you can bring a friend with you, too."

I don't even have to call Hayato to know what she'll advise to me on who to bring - she'll tell me to go and ask Kakashi - and I am planning to.

…………….

Kakashi's gone to do his jounin duties since he hasn't answered the door, so I will do nothing in particular until he comes back. That includes watching the thirty-year old honey (which mum gave me to eat if I had indigestion) droop out from its tin into a cup. It actually took a half hour. I run back out to the balcony and lean over the banister to espy on Kakashi's home for any human movement. Nope, Kakashi's still not back yet. Grah, why am I being like a sick puppy dying to see its owner?

I try to engage myself in another 'activity'.

So I sit in front of my mirror and comb my wig. That's quite creepy. Okay, I'll move onto the next thing on my 'to-do' list - I use a ruler and measure my hair. Wow, it's grown two millimetres, oh my!

Urgh, this isn't working.

I just keep thinking about him.

……………

His door clicks open. I dash from the kitchen and fly out of my open door, grinning widely.

"Kakashi?!"

He's about to lock his door. "Yes, Natsumi?"

I don't know why I'm so nervous. He's not gotten in his front door and he's kind of half-in and half-out, just staring intently back at me, while I fidget and feel like I have to empty my bladder again immediately. Okay, Natsumi, just let it out! _Kakashi, I want you to come to the dinner party at Mina's tomorrow night, with me._

I had to speak up three times to be heard.

Once he did, however, his shoulders slump somewhat. "I…. I'm busy, sorry."

Wow, that was blunt.

"Oh, right, of course. You're a jounin, I'm uh… unemployed. Of course you're busy. Sorry… I wasted your time. See ya."

Before he can say anything else, I run into my house and shut the door behind me quickly. It feels like I've just been dumped, even though we weren't dating at all

………….

I'm still wondering who I should ask to come with me to the dinner. I don't want to ask Hayato, she's too busy getting her wedding ready and I've to come with her next week pick to pick out a dress - for me. I don't think I'll ask my parents, either. So I guess there's only one person left -

"Hey, Gai-san?"

"Natsumi-chan! What a lovely surprise!"

"You're not busy tomorrow night, are you?" I ask with my bottom lip sucked in. He blinks in return. I resume in telling the complete story. "My neighbour's invited me to dinner at her house and said I could bring a friend. That's uh, you, well, on my list anyway."

"Of course! I will gladly accompany you!" He grins, holding a thumbs up.

"Great, here, I've got the address to my house. Meet me at fifteen to six outside my door, okay?" I give him a poorly drawn map to my house. Oh god, I can't believe I've just did that.

Gai looks spooked.

"…What's wrong?"

"You live in the same apartment block as Kakashi?"

My jaw drops. "Y-Y-You know him?"

"Of course, he's my eternal rival! But we're actually really good friends out of working hours. Have you met him yet, Natsumi-chan?"

"Yes," I squeak.

Argh, lord, kill me now!

………..

I don't know why I'm feeling even more like crap now. Why am I even stressing and worrying over these two men? Argh, why do I have so many men problems? Why do I even have so many questions which I'm asking myself and I know I don't have the answer to half of them?! I guess I must like Kakashi more than I had thought if I'm over-thinking about his reaction if he suddenly saw me going to dinner with his 'good friend' - I really wished they were real rivals now and about to go head-on into the coliseum for a death cage-match.

The doorbell rings. I'm wearing a nice dress and my wig as usual. I smooth it down and then open the front door. It's Gai, wearing a black shirt and denims. He looks… different.

"For you, m'lady." He protrudes out a rose.

"Oh, Gai, you didn't have to." I accept it and tuck it into my bag.

"So, ready for this dinner?"

I nod. "Yeah, I am."

**Three hours later….**

Mina sends us out of the door where Gai bids me farewell and tells me that he hopes to be invited to more pleasant dinner parties like those. I'm about to open my front door when I hear a cough behind me.

"So… you're dating Gai?"

I turn around immediately. "What?"

Kakashi looks uncomfortable as he walks up the last stair and up to the landing. "Are you… dating him?"

"No. Why do you ask?" I'm highly suspicious.

He wanders over to his door and unlocks it. "Never mind."

I raise an eyebrow as I watch him in silence. I clear my throat. "So, uh… how was your day anyway?"

"I just finished a mission. I'm really tired."

"Okay, okay, I won't bother you anymore." I take a step into my house.

"Natsumi, I didn't mean it that way." He walks up to me. "Tell me, why did we start off with misunderstandings?"

"They weren't misunderstandings."

"They were awkward."

"Kakashi, don't start on _that _again!" I cry in annoyance. "I'm sick of it."

"Okay then, tell me what you and Gai were doing."

"Having dinner."

"Just the two of you?"

"No, with Mina, her husband and their kids."

"Oh, right."

"Yes, right. Good night to ya." I'm about to slam the door in his face.

"Natsumi?"

"What now?"

"This."

It happens in a millisecond; Kakashi abruptly leans down and covers my tightly pursed lips with his mask-covered ones; I barely felt it. My eyes widen in surprise when he pulls back quickly.

"Night." He says, grinning under the mask.

I'm left blinking like an idiot. "Wait - !" I grab his arm before he leaves. " - Before you go…. Maybe you should do that again -- without the mask."

**The next morning…**

The phone rings.

My hand outstretches out from the covers to get it, he groans and resumes in digging his head into the nape of my neck in a bid to get back to sleep. I yawn blearily and snuggle up to him even more as I put the cordless phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"... Natsumi! Are you up yet?"

Her voice sounds like bongo drums being beaten mercilessly in my ears to wake my brain up. My eyes crack open and I look up, then to my left and right, and then down. I'm on my sofa, with a half-naked man on top of me. I blink. Meep?

"…. Hayato?!!?"

Kakashi groans again and rolls to the side, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Who's that…?"

Hayato starts to squawk on the other end. "Oh my god! That-That was a guy, wasn't it? Natsumi, who is it?!"

"Uh…uh…er… ahh…uh…um… em…" I'm sweating buckets.

"Natsumi, who the hell is it?!"

In response, I hang up, and crawl over Kakashi to get off the sofa. He grabs me back and I land on his bare chest, his arms encircling my waist. "Who was that?" He asks sleepily, kissing my forehead.

"Uh… my cousin…" I try to keep my hair on - literally. "Sorry, Kakashi, I need to go to the bathroom."

He lets go of me and decides to stare at the ceiling of my apartment.

I run to the bathroom and stare at my reflection, before splashing water over my face. It manages to wake me up instantly. Why did Hayato phone? Of course, it's the day I go to get my dress for the upcoming wedding! It's nine am right now, I'm meant to be meeting mum, dad and Hayato at ten. I'm late! How could I have forgotten?

My eyes swim to the ninja who's now sitting upright in the sofa looking rather dazed. He scratches his head, then finds his sweater and puts it on, pulling up an extra part of the neck which covers his lower face. Maybe I can use him as a reason to my recent forgetfulness? I'll just tell them how distracted I've been in finding a man these days - well, partially, it is true.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask loudly, still staring at my reflection.

"No, it's Sunday today. No training."

"… Oh."

"Natsumi?" Kakashi calls.

Miraculously, my wig has actually remained intact for the whole night, but still threatening to fall off. I tidy it up and quickly scoot back out. I make my way back to the sofa, over to Kakashi and plop down for a quick breather, my hands on my head. I'm trying to sum up what has happened yesterday night. Apparently, a lot has.

I take a huge breath and turn to him. "Kakashi, I'm really, really sorry. I'm meant to be somewhere in an hour. I have to get ready."

He lifts my puny self into his lap and holds me tight. I'm getting warm already. "Can I stay here for a while? I'll leave via the balcony."

"Sure." I take mental note to lock my bedroom in case he finds my wig stand. I reach up and begin to nibble the only exposed skin of his face; he chuckles and pulls me closer.

"Hey, Kakashi?"

"Mmm??"

"What happened to your friends?"

"They're dead." He smiles, rather in spite of himself.

"I'm… so sorry." I suddenly pull back when I realise that one of his eyes has a scar. "Oh, I didn't realise this the night before - what happened to your eye?"

I move some of his grey hair away from his eyes and even take note how one eye was different than the other. Kakashi looks down, then up, back at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier that I have a sharingan." he takes my hand and brings it down from the side of his face. He suddenly becomes deathly quiet and looks so sad. I pout too and brush my other hand through his hair.

"…It's okay, Kakashi. I don't mind."


	7. Past

Whoops, I haven't updated this for a long time TToTT Well, this chapter, and 3 more to go, and _Men are from Mars_ is finished, yay!

**Chapter 7**

_Past_

"He was _smiling_ when he said all his friends were dead."

Hayato sighs. "You. Think too much." She throws a cerulean pudding-looking dress-robe, which she has hand-picked carelessly from the twenty percent off rack, into my hands. "Now put that on."

I raise an eyebrow. "I don't like it."

"Just try it."

She shoves me into the dressing room and I try it on. "I'll be waiting outside for you."

"Should I ask him more about his personal history?"

"I don't know, you decide." She flings the curtain around. "You done yet?"

I'm pulling the dress up over my huge thighs. "Almost." When I'm done, I stare at myself in the three mirrors, feeling as fugly as possible.

"Natsumi, dear? You ready yet?" Mum calls from outside. "Your father and I are ready."

"I'm coming." I trudge out, holding the dress-robe up as I waddle into the front. It's a bit too long for me and I smile at them awkwardly. "Ta-dah(?)."

It seems dad and I are the only victims here. He's dressed in a traditional kilt which mum has picked for him and has dozens of flowers perched on his head. He looks tortured, seriously. Mum is wearing a navy cardigan and a skirt, with more fruits and flowers on her head to match dad, and Hayato just has her wedding gown on. We all look like members of the Ninja Navy; it's all because of Hayato's wedding theme which is flowers and navy blue, thus why everything she has picked for us to wear is all cobalt and cyan.

"You look…. Lovely, dear." Mum comments, then she hisses at Hayato, "what were you thinking? Get her another dress, quick."

"Sorry, I thought it'd bring out her figure."

"That bad, huh?" I ask.

Hayato shakes her head. "Makes you look like a tart."

I sigh and let go of it. "You know what? I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go back to my apartment and sleep."

"Of course you do, it's where your Mr Man's at and you're just _dying _to know all about him." Hayato prods me with a clothes hanger. "Come on, lighten up a bit. You've only been through two dresses anyway. Here, try this on."

I ignore her and try to scour through a rack of dresses, and eventually pick out three or four which I like. I try them on one by one, and decide to a conclusion that I would wear a lapis lazuli-coloured dress robe, and I stare at my reflection for a few more seconds. I take my wig off. I look stupid. Very, very stupid. Sighing heavily, I replace it and gaze glumly at my reflection. There will be a time when I will have to tell Kakashi that I wear a wig. But that'll have to wait.

I come teetering out of the cubicle. "Well?"

"Looks reasonable enough." Hayato rubs her imaginary beard.

"Okay, I'll get this one then."

"Don't you want to wait?" She asks.

"Why?" I reply.

"Because, aren't you thinking of taking your Mr Man with you to the wedding? Like a partner, you know? I mean, I've got Tenka - well, I'm marrying him, duh. And your mum's got your dad, and my mum's got my dad. And you've now got your Mr Man - Why didn't you bring him here today…?"

"I, uh… wasn't sure."

"Riiiight."

"Well, I'll have to ask him about it first…" I put the dress back on the rack and sigh.

……….

Kakashi's still in my house when I come back; by that time, I'm groggy and wanting to flop back into bed so I don't mind. I'm also too tired to ask him about his life. I'd do that later.

"You're still here?" I ask, as I lock the door behind me, throwing the keys down on the stand beside me.

"I thought I'd wait for you." He replies as he switches off the TV. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No, not at all!" I exclaim cheerfully. About time I stopped coming to an empty home. He's still on the sofa, so I just drag myself over to him and throw my body over his lap. I wrap my arms around him and try to inhale his man-scent.

"Tired, huh?"

"Yeah," I moan; he starts to stroke my hair - er-hem, wig - I cringe as I'm thinking about it.. "You should get some rest."

I nod, and continue to glomp him, guffawing. "Hey… Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"… You don't think we're going too fast, do you? After all…We've only known each other for about several weeks."

He shrugs. "I don't mind. I'm okay with it."

I smile and reward him with a kiss on the temple. "Heehee, this is fun."

Kakashi stretches back on the sofa, and lies down on it, taking me with him. "Fun? What's fun?" He pulls the blanket over us.

"Using you as a pillow. You're my man-pillow from now on, right? No-one else can have you but me, okay?? That's fun. Yes, fun. Very, very fun."

"Okay then(?). I see you've been deprived of men for some time." He laughs, and I hit him over the head with the pillow, then put it over his chest and place my head over it. Then I decide to take off my jacket, which was getting in my way.

"I'm going to sleep." I moan, closing my eyes.

"Night."

It's bright in the apartment because it's only noon, but I don't care anymore. I don't have a care in the world! Now that I have Kakashi, nothing else matters to me but him!

All is soothingly peaceful and quiet for ten minutes, until -

**DING DONG!**

My eyebrows furrow, I open my eyes, pull the covers off my head and growl. "Who the hell can that be at the door?"

Kakashi groans and rubs his eyes. "Just ignore it…"

I agree and we both go back to our previous position and try to get back to sleep. I attempt to get snugly over his chest again. It's temporary interrupted when the doorbell rings a further five times in a row.

"AARGHHH! Some people are trying to sleep here!" I whip the covers off me and stomp up to the front door, angrily inserting the keys in and opening the door. I keep my very angry and red face on to scare away the boy scout or the annoying, common and conventional door-to-door salesperson. "What the hell do you want?"

"Natsumi!"

I stop seething, my jaw loosens and drops, then I slam the door in his face. Oh my god!

Kakashi gets up. "What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing… wait here." I re-open the door, then quickly slip outside. I grab his arm and drag him down the flight of stairs. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

It's Gouki, my psycho-ex. How did he even find me? Why is he here? Oh boy, oh gee, oh god! This time, he has no ramen or flowers. Just Gouki.

"Look, I just wanted to see if you're alright."

"Why? My self-being and life doesn't concern you anymore for all I know."

"No, I mean, when you left the Mist that day - about that ferry-man - I waited that day if you'd come back, but half an hour later, he came back by himself, and I was worried if he did anything to you, so I did some research on him, and tracked him down - it turned out he was a wanted man in the Mist country. And I demanded to know what he did to you, and he said he'd killed you before he tried to kill me, so I killed him."

"…You killed him… for me?"

Gouki nods.

"You _killed_ him for me?"

He nods again.

"You killed him for _me_?"

I'm disgusted, terrified, and disturbed. Very disturbed. Deeply disturbed. I'm as disturbed as one could possibly be disturbed as ever.

"So, what do you say, Natsumi? I do so much for you, can't we go back to the way we were? What was wrong with me? We always went along fine. I'll change, I swear!"

I bite my lip. "Gouki… you didn't have to _kill _him."

"He could've killed _you_!"

"… I… I don't know what to say…"

"Tell me - What was my problem? Tell me, what was my problem?!" He grabs my shoulders and shakes me fiercely. I'm seeing a swarm of Kakashi's running around the crown of my head in dizziness.

I pry his hands off. "That's the problem!"

"What?"

"Look," I inhale; it's probably a good thing if I don't provoke him - who knows what he could accomplish? "It's not… you. It's, uh… _me_. Yes, me."

He blinks.

"I wasn't good enough for you." I say in a matter-of-factly.

"No, no -- we're perfectly fine for each other. We deserve each other!"

"Well, I obviously don't!"

"No, you do."

"No, I do not! Get it through your frickin' thick skull, you stupid jackass! I-I mean - see? I told you it was my problem. I… eh… have anger-management issues."

This is so degrading(!).

"But I love you."

I'm suddenly rendered into a gloop of unwanted jelly. "W-What?" I don't know why, but I'm… quite… touched.

"I - "

No, no, no! Get a grip, Natsumi! I have Kakashi now! "Shut up. Shut UP! Go away!" I push past him and stomp back up to my apartment door. He grabs my arm before I can leave.

"No, you're coming with me back to the Mist."

"NO! I like it here!" All the previous emotions I had felt quickly ran away from inside me and was replaced with fear, anger and frustration.

Mina's door opens and she peeps her head out. "Natsumi? Is everything okay?"

"Shut up and don't stick your nose into our business!" Gouki snarls at her.

I growl at him and wrench my arm away. "Don't talk to my friend like that!" I turn to Mina. "Go back inside, Mina. I can handle this."

"O-Okay…"

"What the heck was that about?!" I shout at him. "See? That's your problem! You're rude, annoying, arrogant, selfish and impulsive! You only think about yourself and want me because I'm the only one 'worthy enough' for you - I hate that egocentric, self-centered attitude you have!"

He's shocked.

I take this time to run back into my flat and shut the door quickly before he can get in. He's yelling my name, creating a scene and making me really want to drop a water balloon on his head - no, I want to drop a brick on him now.

Kakashi is up now and about to get dressed in his usual gear. "Natsumi? Who is that??"

I sigh and brush a hand through my hair, still biting my lip. I can't seem to say it to Kakashi. "…He's my ex-boyfriend and he won't leave me alone…"

"Natsumi! Natsumi?! Who're you talking to? There's someone with you, isn't there?" Gouki is knocking on the door loudly. I step back, worried like hell in case he breaks in. although, I've already forgotten the fact that I've got a jounin with me now.

"I'll tell him that you don't want him bothering you anymore."

"No, wait!" I grab Kakashi's arm and drag him back. "No, I don't want you to get involved!"

"Natsumi? There's a man with you, isn't it? I heard him!"

Kakashi sighs. "Then what do you propose we do?"

"Uh… um…" I bite my fingernails and try to think of a solution - all I'm thinking of is Kakashi and I eating ramen from the same bowl - argh, what stupid and meaningless thoughts I have in my brain right now!!

Suddenly, the banging on the door stops, and Kakashi and I look at the door. We can hear Gouki now:

"I'm going to wait outside! You'll have to come out sometime!" He yells furiously.

There is a series of loud, thumping footsteps thundering down the stairs - then silence again. I slump to the ground, sick to my stomach and actually frightened beyond belief. "I think he's gone…" I mutter, trembling slightly. "He's gone…"

Kakashi has looked out my balcony, pulling the curtain away somewhat. "Is that him?"

I get up and stand beside Kakashi, then peer down. Yep, Gouki's there on the ground floor, staring directly at us; good thing the curtain is covering most of us. I nod, and cling onto Kakashi's back tightly. "Yes." I squeak meekly.

"It's okay. I'll get rid of him for you." He kisses my temple, pulls up his mask, then pulls the curtain back completely.

"Kakashi! No!"

He's already leapt off the banister and down below. All I can do is watch him go all super-hero with my mouth hanging open. I jerk into action, quickly unlock my door again and run down the stairs. Shujin has come out of her door, brandishing her cane.

"Ey, what's 'appening here?" She demands. "That you, Natsumi?"

"Shujin-san! I'm afraid that Kakashi's going to do something terrible to my ex-boyfriend!"

"Eh, and you said you both weren't going out…?"

"Well, we are now!"

Shujin follows me down the two flight of stairs and onto the ground floor, complaining of her hip and back until I have to go back up a flight just to carry her.

"Wouldn't want to miss all this action, keke." She cackles, "giddy-up now, Natsumi!"

I grit my teeth, I'm not a pack mule! We arrive back outside after a further ten minutes. I would've been there by five if it wasn't for this five hundred pound old lady perched on my back. By the time she hops off my back and hobbles to the exit, we open the door to see Kakashi sitting on top of Gouki, who's wrestling hard to get him off - but Kakashi has Gouki's arm behind his back, immobilising him. Argh, I've missed all the action.

"I don't even want to know what's happened." Shujin croaks out, then she prods a card into my hand.

"What's that?"

"My counselling service, just in case anything happens between you and Hatake-san." she winks. Old people winking is a bizarre thing to see.

"… No thanks." I return to gaze upon the splendour of this scene - Ack! What hashappened?! I don't even want to know what HAS happened. I just know this; Kakashi pwns all! My eyes go all love-heart shaped. _My hero! _I think that's what Kakashi is expecting me to say when he looks at me.

When Kakashi lets go of Gouki; he runs off immediately, clutching his seemingly broken arm, never looking back at me at all. I believe Kakashi has successfully solved my psycho-ex predicament once and for all! He wanders up to me, with a hand behind his head.

"I taught him a painless lesson. He won't bother you ever again." He smiles.

"That's… great." I breathe out awkwardly, watching Gouki's retreating back. I bet it was 'painless'.

Silence.

"What? That's it? I have no reward?" He grins mischievously behind the mask.

I clear my throat at him and gesture to the old lady who was hardly visible to Kakashi - Shujin - of course, she's on Kakashi's left, which is where his sharingan eye is covered up. Shujin notices and takes her leave. "Well, that was the most eventful thing that happened today…. " She hobbles away and has a few minutes of difficulty in opening the door leading back to the apartment. "Don't forget to come to my counselling office for help!"

"… Will she be okay?" I ask Kakashi, pretending that she has not just exclaimed that out and loud for the world to hear.

There is no response

I turn around. "What's up?"

"Come on, don't get I _anything_?"

I try to contain my amusement. "You may carry me back up to our floor."

"… _May_?"

"Yes, you may or you may not. That's your choice." I cross my arms over my chest. "Fine, I see you won't do it. I'll go up myself."

As I walk back to the door, I'm thoroughly disappointed that Kakashi hasn't followed me back in - until he 'poof's in front of me and hauls me over his shoulder with a smooth, fluid movement of his arm. I scream, finding a new perspective of looking at the world upside down.

"He-ee-ey!" I struggle to get up as Kakashi makes his way back up the stairs. It doesn't work and I'm dangling helplessly over his shoulders like a rag doll. "I didn't mean for you to carry me this way."

"What's wrong with this way?"

"I get sick really easily."

"I'm not falling for that, Natsumi." He tightens his grip on me.

"No, really!"

"You just want me to let you down and then you'll run away, I'm sure."

"Kakashiiii…."

We reach our floor. Kakashi plops me down on the floor and I'm feeling like my stomach's a washing machine going through twenty rinse cycles. He realises how green I look, and spares no moment in opening my apartment as fast as he could.

Where's a sick-bag when you need one?

Heehee, this chapter was so random! Dunno if that's a good thing or not... I'll try and put up the next chapter next week.


	8. Jealousy

Yes, almost finished! Hope you like this chapter!

**Chapter 8**

_Jealousy_

Kakashi and I are having a picnic in his balcony; I've brought some chips and a couple of boiled eggs over; Kakashi's prepared most of the food - ramen, mostly, but I don't mind. And now we've spread a mat out and are now sitting down, basking in the moonlight. The only thing ruining our moment is the fact that we're warmly surrounded by his eight dogs (including Pakkun), who are howling continuously and loudly into the night.

"Why do they do that?" I ask, lifting my head up to him as he sips his oolong tea. We're also very snugly together with a blanket draped over the two of us.

"It's a dog thing."

I lean off him and stretch my arms, I've got a growing cramp because we've not really budged from our spots for the past few hours. "I'm going to get them some water, their bowl's empty." I'm about to stand up until Kakashi grabs my arm.

"Let's not talk about dogs."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"Us. You and me."

"O-kay then." I smile and sit back down, hugging my knees to my chest. "Who'd like to start?"

"Why don't you?"

"… Um, right, okay… have you…er… always been a jounin?"

"Nope, I was an ANBU once."

"No way!" I exclaim, "my father was one, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's even still got his uniform, but too much spare tyre that he can't fit into it anymore."

He laughs. "I've still got mine. And hopefully, no spare tyre."

"Oh really? Let's see then." I challenge him, with a glint in my eye. "Let's see if you're all gab AND flab, heehee." I shove him back into the living room. "Go on, put it on!" I egg him.

He gives me a look, then smirks and disappears into his bedroom. "I'll be out soon."

"Take your time!" During my wait, I find a new hobby in engaging conversation with Pakkun. Oh god, I can't believe I'm talking to a dog. And I can't believe that it's talking to back to me. I guess this'll take a long time to adjust to. Very small world.

Kakashi re-emerges back from his room looking like an entirely different person.

I drool, then quickly wipe it off my chin before he can notice.

"I think it's shrunk over the years." He states, pulling at the white vest. He looks at me for my opinion.

"You just made me drool against my will."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No!" I giggle. "You should wear it more often. You look smexy. I could just eat you up and not feel guilty about it."

He crosses his arms over his chest. "Okay, you've had your amusement. Now it's my turn. Time for you to wear something 'smexy'."

My jaw drops. "You got to be kidding me…"

He wasn't kidding.

I ponder what to wear. I have some high heeled shoes which I haven't worn before - that's because I prefer flat ones because they're more comfortable, and the high heels expose much of my already-putrid bare feet. However, it adds much more pizazz to them. Hmm, I don't really know. I don't have anything sexy to wear.

"Okay, I got it!" I say, after an extensive five minute ponder. "I'm wearing it _right now_."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow, and already starts to inspect me closely. "What is it?" He has an idea of what it may be. A very, very dirty idea, too.

"Why don't I just show you?"

His eyes bulge.

I take off my wig.

His eyes REALLY _REALLY _bulges then. "…. You wear a wig…?"

"Yes," I say in a matter-of-factly, "it makes me feel _sexy_."

………

While I ponder about our dawning demise to our relationship due to my hair, Kakashi realises how mournful I look about my tarnished hair and tries to help. My hair has grown slightly longer, but not long enough. He borrows two bobbles from Mina (who was trying to find out what was going on between us), and ties my short hair into pigtails.

"Kakashi, stop messing with my hair. I'm twenty two years old, goddamnit. I shouldn't have bunches. They're hairstyles for children."

"But you look adorable." he cooes at me, and he even shows me the mirror.

I look awkward. "…. I'd better take them out."

"Wait, keep them on." He stops me by grabbing my hand and kissing it. "You look fine, honestly. Let's get on with the picnic, okay?"

I take his word, and the wig goes to the storage closet.

………..

We wake up when there's someone knocking on Kakashi's door. He doesn't bother to get changed out of his ANBU uniform and pulls his mask back up over his face before answering the door. I'm still snoring like a pig when he returns to the bed, putting something aside and clambering back in beside me.

"Who was that?"

"The girl on the ground floor. Said that they'd received my mail by accident."

I grumble and moan out from under the covers. "Neighbours…"

He checks the clock, then groans. "I need to get ready in five minutes… but I think I'll lie in for a bit."

I giggle as we both go back to sleep in a tangle of legs and covers, and dogs, too - they whine and begin pawing at our exposed bare feet, and Kakashi and I get back up in an instant.

"They need their morning walk…" He groans again, rubbing his eye. "Better get ready now."

"Hey, I'll walk your dogs for you today." I volunteer cheerfully, "You can get ready to go training with your team."

………….

There is a tap on my shoulder. I turn around. It's a girl, looking very angry. Is there something wrong? We stand in silence for a minute.

"What do you think you're doing?" She finally talks, demanding sternly, crossing her arms over her chest.

I'm a little taller than her, but nontheless, still intimidated. The dogs strain on their leash and I try to keep them near me. "Uh… do I know you?" I ask politely.

"No, but I know you. It was a very simple question and I'll ask you one last time: What do you think you're doing?"

"Walking dogs, what does it look like?" I reply back in disbelief. What the heck is happening here??

"Oh no you don't!" She snatches the leash out of my hand. I blink in shock.

"What the heck do you think you're doing?!" I yell angrily. She's stealing Kakashi's dogs right under my nose! I run back to her and grab her shoulder, turning her around. "You can't just do that!"

"As a matter of fact, I can. I'm Kakashi's Dog Walker. I've always taken them for walks every morning. You'd better remember that. Oh, and I had dibs on Kakashi first, so stay away from him." she turns on her heel and continues to trot away.

I'm left looking like an idiot in the park who just got mugged of their dogs. Well, technically, Kakashi's dogs.

The girl stops and looks over her shoulder, back at me. "Bitch!"

That… didn't just happen.

………

"KAKASHI!!!!"

I don't care if I'm interrupting their training session. I'm angry, embarrassed and confused. Mostly angry. I also didn't realise how high my voice could go. I screamed out his name in a high pitched, shrill screech. A little blonde boy in an orange jumpsuit stops in his tree-climbing antics and blinks at me. A girl with pink hair stops also, and Kakashi looks at my way. He was busy talking to his other student, who seems annoyed that I've disrupted them.

"… Natsumi?"

"Something's happened!" I yell at him.

His students just looks dumbly at him, then at me, and Kakashi makes his way over quickly. "Natsumi, are you alright?"

"No, I'm okay - sort of. But your dogs - someone stole them. I'm so sorry…"

"WHAT?!" He leads me away from his team. "How did this happen??"

I look side to side. "Uh… I was just walking them - and then this girl came up and she took them away. She mentioned your name so I thought - but she's just completely taken the dogs away somewhere… I didn't know what to do…"

"Wait - a girl?" He questions. I nod grimly. He laughs. "It's okay, Natsumi. That was probably one of our neighbours; you know - the young couple living on the ground floor? Her name's Mizuki."

I blink dumbly at him. "Ooooh… her name's Mizuki… young couple on the ground floor… she has a boyfriend then?"

"Yes."

"Then why did she - " I stop in mid-sentence.

"What?"

"… I just remembered something."

Wait, they're the young couple with the relationship problems, as Mina mentioned once….

………..

I ring the doorbell, and wait - impatiently. I'm tapping my foot and biting my lip.

The door opens to reveal a small, pudgy shrivelled face and tiny beetle eyes hidden behind thick glasses. The old woman opens the door completely. "Natsumi, is that you?"

"Shujin!" I breathe a sigh of relief. "You're home!"

"Of course I'm home, where else can this old lady with a prosthetic leg go in this boring world?"

"Err…. Listen, I need to… talk to you."

"Oh, Kakashi and you have problems?"

"No… not exactly. I want to talk about… Mizuki." I babble out awkwardly. "You… give her counselling advice, don't you?"

"Mizuki?? I'm sorry, that's confidential information - "

I get pissed. "Shujin, you're not even official!" then I shut up. "I mean - uh… Mizuki and I are… good friends… and I'm a little worried about her… can I ask you a few questions?"

……….

"Why are you threatened by this Mizuki anyway?" Hayato asks as I pace the floor of my tatami mat again. "Are you jealous, by any chance?"

"I'm not!"

"Natsumi, you lied to her counsellor and got information out from her. You tried to throw a brick into her window in hopes she can move out. You've tried to find her boyfriend and tell him that she likes someone else. That sounds like the actions of some jealous bitch desperate to eliminate her enemy. Besides, you're also kinda freaking out. I thought Kakashi liked you."

"He... He does. It's just… oh god, Hayato, I did the most stupidest thing yesterday…"

"What did you do this time?"

"… I took off my wig."

"You _what_?!"

"I took off my wig!" I start to whimper. "I think I put him off…"

"No, sweetie. It can't be. You're honestly freaking out here."

"… Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I'm so worried, I think I'm going to throw up again…" I start to tremble a little. "Hayato, she's _younger _than me two years."

"Ooh, tough luck."

"Plus, she's been living in Kakashi's block longer than I have. How do I know how much interaction they've had before I moved here? Also, Shujin told me that Mizuki's crushed on Kakashi for AGES! That's why she and her boyfriend have relationship problems!!!" I wail uncontrollably.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm… not sure. I hoped you could help me out again?" I ask hopefully.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm afraid I'm stuck, too."

"Okay… Thanks, Hayato, for always being there for me. And listening to me. You're a good friend - and cousin."

"Yes, yes, sweetheart, I'm almost off the phone..."

I blink. Whu - ?

"Hurry up, I need to call the Hokage's main office." I can hear Tenka in the background.

"…Hayato?!" I exclaim. "What's going on?"

"Sorry, Natsumi. Tenka needs the phone, oh, and I'm doing the washing up right now, so I put you on hands-free."

"So Tenka heard EVERYTHING I said?" I put my hand over my mouth, feeling somehow very, very embarrassed…

"Most likely. Sorry, I gotta go now. Talk to you later! Tenka, can you press the button for me?"

"Sure, uh… bye Natsumi. Oh, and about your problem - you should try and seduce him."

"Tenka!?"

"Why are you so alarmed? It worked for me and Hayato."

I don't know how to respond. "Goodbye Hayato… Tenka." I shut off the receiver.

All I want to do now is crawl into a hole and never come out.


	9. Retribution

This chapter may seemed a bit rushed. sorry! I didn't realise how hard it was to decide how many chapters stories should actually have before cramming things in and trying not to make chapters too long and boring.

**Chapter 9**

_Retribution_

I think the best way to solve this upcoming problem is to talk -- To Kakashi. I wonder if he's aware of this situation at all. Presumably not. If I don't do anything now, I'm drastically sure that it'll get worse and worse, until I become mad completely and just have to murder someone.

He came back to his apartment, and when I came out of mine to greet him after a hard day of training, I find that he has a big, girly-looking bag of cookies in his hand; and it suspiciously looked like the ones which shy teenage girls gave to their high school crushes. Hmm, I glower at the innocent bag shiftily.

"Hey…" I sidle up to Kakashi and kiss his temple. "… What's that you got? Looks cute." I touch the pink ribbon that was tied neatly around the top and try to rip it in half without him noticing.

"Oh, these? Mizuki made them for me. She usually makes a lot of stuff for me on Fridays." He keeps the cookies out of my reach.

"Why?"

He blinks. "I'm not sure. She just says she likes giving them to me."

"Kakashi! Don't you think that's O.D.D?"

"Not really… we've been friends for some time."

I purse my lips, trying to hatch an evil scheme. "… You can't just accept something from her and not give _anything _in return."

"What do you suppose then?" He asks as he unlocks the door. He puts the cookies down on the floor then sweeps me off the floor unsuspectingly and carries me into the living room, kicking the door behind him.

I laugh, then wrap my arms around him, with a wide smile. "Let me handle that. You just take charge in giving them to her."

"Okay then." He lets me down on the sofa and then goes to get the cookies. I'm still eyeing them warily as he comes over with them. He unties the ribbon, and I snatch it from him quickly, and sniff it inauspiciously.

Perfume… damn, she's trying to mark him. Well, I can do that, too. I have this new lipgloss which I bought from the pharmacists earlier on, hehe….

"Are you okay?"

I stop trying to figure out what places on Kakashi's head to 'mark' with my lipgloss. "Yeah… just checking out what that… _stench _was." I say cheerfully with gritted teeth. I don't care if I'm being nasty or not.

He takes out a cookie and eats it. I bite my lip and watch him with a sour expression. He notices and then hands me one. "Try it."

"**NO**."

"They're good."

"I don't care. I _don't_ want it."

He rams a cookie into my mouth. I look at him in incredulity. He shrugs, and tells me to eat. So I do. I let it soak on my tongue. I can taste chocolate, and sugar - a lot of sugar. And somehow, I'm taking another cookie from the bag… and another one… and another one.

"I told you they were good."

"Shut up."

………….

I've lost that round. Fine, she can bake. So what? I can do that, too. I spend an hour trying to decide what to make for Mizuki, for Kakashi to give to her. I eventually find my answer when I'm looking through a book on soup. There's this kind of spicy noodle soup which seems easy to make and might _suit _Mizuki. So I think I'll try that. I smirk in triumph. I know just what to do.

Kakashi lets me use his kitchen, and he goes off to meet his team after kissing my cheek and dashing out of the door; he's already half an hour late, and looking forward in what I'll have cooking in the pot. Oh, I never did mention to him that I was a rubbish cook. Anyway, Pakkun helps me by reading out loud the instructions from the book which I've borrowed back home from the public Konoha Archive.

"Two tablespoons of ground chilli powder up next." The dog tells me.

I look at the tub of _extra-_super-hot chilli powder which I have just purchased today, and look at my spoon. I chuck it away and then grab Kakashi's ladle off the stand. I dig it into the powder and take out a huge pile of the red stuff.

"Natsumi?" Pakkun glances at the ladle. "What're you doing?"

"Shh, this amount would suit Mizuki fine, hopefully." With another smirk, I empty the ladle of powder into the bowl and watch it dissolve. Excellent…

…………

"I'm home!" Kakashi yells cheerfully as he comes in the door.

I take off my cooking gloves used to tame the steaming pot, and rush to the door. "Kakashi!" I exclaim happily, and I leap on him, with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I pull his mask down and kiss him. He's surprised that I engaged it first, but shrugs it off anyway and returns the kiss promptly.

He sniffs the air once we break apart. "I can smell something good…." I let go of him and he makes his way to the kitchen. "Wow." He eyes the flask on the counter.

"You can give that to Mizuki, don't forget to say that you did it, or she may not accept it."

"… Okay then." he chuckles, and I turn away from him and rub my hands together devilishly. Hehe, this is working easier than I had expected.

Kakashi lifts up the lid to the remainder of the soup and takes the ladle. He takes a sip of the soup and instantly spews it out. I break out of my musings and whip around to him. "Oh my god! You drank it!?"

His lips are rather becoming rather red. I stare in horror, and puts my hands on each side of his cheek. "Isth' spthicy." Kakashi lisps.

I give him a tight hug as Pakkun stares at us, looking bored as he usually does. I give him a look, and mouth to him 'Don't you say anything'. Pakkun gives me another bored look, sighs, then nods briefly and trots away. I turn my attention back to the jounin. "Kakashi, I'm so sorry! It's… uh… meant to be."

"That spthicy?"

"Yes…"

He doesn't know whether to believe or not. But I make him believe it anyway.

"Does it hurt?" I ask him worriedly, tracing my fingers over his lips. "Oh, my poor Kakashi…you poor, poor thing."

He nods. "It hurtsth."

"Here, I'll kiss it better, and afterwards, you can bring it to her, okay?"

………..

I secretly spy Kakashi from behind the banister as he hands Mizuki the flask, trying to speak normally. She goes all 'Aww, how sweet!' and gives him a hug. My eyes widen and I clench my hands around the bar tightly, silently wishing that it was her head I was twisting around. Kakashi rubs the back of his head and takes his leave. However, Mizuki has other plans.

"Why don't you stay for dinner? Ryou's gone on a mission and I'm all lonely here..."

I'm really pissed. This 'Ryou' must be her boyfriend. I must find him and tell him what this girl is doing behind his back. But now, I continue watching silently. Kakashi is quite unsure - what's there to be unsure of?! Just say 'no' and 'I have a girlfriend!'. Come on!!

"… Can I bring Natsumi?"

Mizuki's face falters. I'm partially surprised myself.

"O-Of course…"

…………

"So… what did she say?" I ask him as he comes back in the door, although I already know what she did, and I'm grinning from ear to ear.

"She really liked it - actually, she said that she'd like to share the soup you made today, when we go over for dinner in ten minutes."

I drop my smile, falling out of my position. "She said _that_?"

"Yes."

"Kakashi." I say, putting my hand on his arm. I can't go to that dinner party. I'm NOT going to drink that soup. Oh god, why is everything backfiring now and biting me in the ass?

"Natsumi, what's wrong? You're so pale." He checks my forehead.

"I… I don't want to go." I mutter out wobbly, scratching my arm.

"Why?"

I try to think of something. "…I'm… I'm actually not feeling too well today."

"Do you want me to cancel?"

"I… " I suddenly feel guilty. "No, I don't want you not to go because of me. If you want to go, then, you go and have fun, with Mizuki."

"… You sure?"

"Yes."

Although I secretly pleaded Kakashi to continue to refuse and stay home with me… he didn't. Instead, he took out his covers from his bedroom and put them on his sofa, then plopped me down and cocooned me in, before making me a hot drink and checking my forehead again.

"You are quite warm." He wraps the covers tightly around me.

I sniffle.

"You okay?"

I nod grimly. "You should hurry up. You're twenty minutes late…"

Watching him walk out that door hurt me.

………

"Pakkun?"

"…Yes?" He's trying to sleep, but I'm constantly talking to him.

"I screwed up." I wail. "And now he's gone."

"Natsumi, you're overreacting."

"I should've just went and fought with Mizuki. I chickened out at the last minute… I gave up."

"… Why?"

"I'm…afraid. I thought I'd lose Kakashi for good and I don't want to be there. I can't compete with Mizuki. She has nice hair, she's better-looking, younger, known Kakashi for years, and she can cook. What can I do? Plus, I wear a freakin' wig!"

I'm in the middle of the sappy-ninja soap opera, which I still don't know the title of. Pakkun is lying in his basket amongst the other dogs who are sleeping soundly, and listening to my mourning. I'm so tired and my head is throbbing. Maybe I really am ill. I huddle up in a ball and close my eyes, wanting to go to sleep, feeling like a dimly-lit candle that's about to die in the wind.

The door opens. I blink, and slip out of the sofa, waddling to the door. Kakashi's there, he takes off his mask and sighs heavily. I'm wondering what has happened?

"… Kakashi? I thought you were…"

He looks up. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

Kakashi walks towards me and envelopes me in a tight hug. "I should've stayed with you. It was insensitive and thoughtless of me."

"No… it wasn't your fault." I'm feeling awkward. "What did you do?"

"Well…" He carries me back to the sofa and we both sit down. Pakkun sighs, knowing that he'll never be able to get to sleep today, and just slumps over his basket. Kakashi continues talking. "I sat down, and we talked. I talked about you - a lot. And I realised how much you mean to me, and what I did was a terrible thing, to leave you here while I dined and ate - well, I didn't really. I left before she served. She was upset, but I think she understands."

I bite my lip. I really don't know what to say. "Oh, Kakashi, you really didn't have to. You're so sweet." I pinch his cheeks and he winces slightly. I let go, feeling happy with myself. Guess I won this round - again.

"Natsumi?"

"Yes?"

"…. I love you."

"I luv yoo too!"

I think I'm going to cry. In fact, I can taste the tears in my mouth. Eurgh… Kakashi's face is just centimetres from mine; I just want to collapse into his arms and sigh heavily. This is so perfect… all so… so… perfect…. I can't wait till I tell Hayato. I'm so happy, that I-I -

I wake up.

It's only been half an hour. Aah, crap, I fell asleep in front of the TV - again. That dream was too perfect to be true. Kakashi hasn't come back at all. I'm also feeling a tad bit better now.

"Pakkun?" I prod the dog's head.

He looks up, looking pissed. "Yesh?"

"…. Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes."

"Did I say anything in my sleep…?"

"Well, you swore your undying love to Kakashi ten times."

I think for a minute, then look up, at the TV. The ninja soap-opera is still on. It's talking about a female ninja called Ayu who thinks her husband is having an affair, and goes to follow him. When she does, she finds out that her husband is indeed, having an affair with her best friend turned enemy.

"WHY? How can you be so cruel? After all those years I've been with you - and you go with that… that woman!! She was my best friend!" Ayu screams.

Although the storyline of this show was entirely different to my current predicament, it still has it's relations. What do I do now?

"I shouldn't have followed you! We're over!"

"Wait, Ayu! It's not what it looks like!"

Hmm, _following_… I ponder, then grit my teeth and my eyebrows furrow. "That's it. I'm going to the dinner party! I'm not losing Kakashi! Not to some girl who's two years younger than I am!"

Pakkun rolls his eyes. "So this is what it's about…"

"You're coming with me!" I lift the dog up and into my arms and switch off the TV, just when Ayu slaps her husband and then bitch-slaps her best friend. "Come on, let's get your doggie basket…"

He sighs.

I frown, and prod at his head with my index finger. "You're such an emo dog…"


	10. Committment

Aieee! The last chapter! This was a very fast movin story when read altogether, and I really do apologize if some people think it's not detailed enough. I've not had time to write anymore these days - or the inspiration. I'm so sorry! But I hope you enjoyed this story!

PS. Watch out for drama, and possible cheese. Yes, it's cheesy. But I don't care!

**Chapter 10**

_Commitment_

"Hi! Sorry I'm so late - it took me quite a while to get ready. You should understand - you're a girl too, after all, _Mizuki_."

She's baring at my teeth like a caged lion but I take no heed and barge in through her doorway anyway.

"Kakashi said that you were ill."

I hoot with laughter. "I was, I'm perfectly fine now." I enter the dining room where Kakashi is, who's eye bulges at the mere sight of me, with Pakkun in my arms.

"Natsumi?"

"Before you say that - I feel better now, so I decided I might as well attend!" I reply back, taking the only seat on Kakashi's right.

Mizuki follows me shortly. "That's my seat…"

"Sorry?" I stick a pinky in my ear. "I didn't hear that."

"Never mind…" she brings a stool from the side and rams it on Kakashi's left.

I frown. She's still at it. Fine, I'll show her what I can really do. As Mizuki makes her way into the kitchen, I grab Kakashi and kiss him on the temple. She notices, holds a clenched fist, then stomps into the kitchen.

"So…. What did you guys do?" I ask.

"Well, we just finished the starters, so it's the main course." He puts an arm around me and draws me closer to him.

"I'll say."

"Pakkun, you're here too?" Kakashi lifts his dog out of my arms.

He nods. "Forced to."

………………

I find every possible way to criticize her food. First, it was the gravy which I said was too salty. We're now served with meat-filled green peppers.

"I've made these once, you need more salt this time, and it didn't look this way."

Mizuki glares at me silently. "Oh, really, Yagami-san?" she says through gritted teeth.

"Yes, really."

There's a line of fantastic, powerful static electricity crackling between our eyes. Next, we have dessert consisting of sushi. I sniff it inauspiciously.

"Hey, are these light sesame seeds you used as an outer coating? No, no, you got it all wrong!! It's meant to be _black_ sesame seeds, didn't you know? Oh god, you've ruined it all!"

From the corner of my eye, I can see that Mizuki has a crystalline glint in the corners of her eyes. Crying… she's crying. Crap, did I really go that far? As the dinner progresses, I ease up my criticisms. Next, the soup. Mizuki looks cheerful again and smiles sweetly at Kakashi. "I can't believe you made this for me!" she squeals like a little girl.

Kakashi, who I believe has been completely oblivious over the war that has been waging between Mizuki and I, smiles and then glances at me. "Actually, I have to be honest. It was - "

I kick him under the table. He grunts in pain, then gives me a surprised look. I shake my head, hissing at him fiercely.

"What?" Mizuki asks, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"Uh… never mind."

……………….

When the dinner ends, Mizuki, looking all watery-eyed even though she swore that she was fine, sends out the door. Kakashi drags me back to the landing of our floor. "What's your problem?" He asks, irritated.

I blink innocently at him, as I wrench my arm out of his. "What? My problem? What's wrong?"

"I saw how you acted towards Mizuki-chan. You were so rude to her - you even made her cry. You said a lot of horrible things about her cookery skills. What was up with that?"

"Look, she was asking for it!"

"No, Mizuki-chan is a perfectly nice girl, you on the other hand, was the most - "

"Kakashi, she was making goo-goo eyes at you the whole time! I couldn't just sit back and let her take advantage of you - or sneak you away from me right under my nose!"

"She was not."

"You're a _man_, you don't notice these things!"

"Ho, you're being so sexist now."

"Me, sexist??" I laugh out loud. "Blow my toe, Kakashi! BLOW MY TOE!"

"What's supposed to mean?!" He's baffled. Clearly, yes. But it was just a figurative choice of an insulting remark.

"I just realised how dumb, slow and stupid men can really be to notice that two women are fighting over him!!!!" I sighed at him angrily.

"Why would you fight over Mizuki with me anyway? She has no feelings for me, plus you know I like you. You're my girlfr - " Kakashi stops in mid-sentence, then he looks at me with a frown forming. "I know what you're saying - you're thinking that I'm being unfaithful to you."

"Oh, now you get it. What was your first clue?"

"Why would you ever think that of me?" He looks helpless. "Why would I choose Mizuki over you? How could you not trust me?"

"Because, Mizuki's two years younger than me, she's known you longer than I have. Okay, I have to admit - she actually can cook, she's prettier than me, smarter than me, she has a job, and most importantly, she doesn't have a haircut like mine that sucks ass that she has to wear a wig!!!!"

"Natsumi, now you're being silly."

"Oh, am I? Or do I overreact over things far too much?" I bark at him. "I'm sick of it! I'm sick of people always thinking that I'm 'being silly'! I'm not! Stop treating me like a kid and for once, listen to what I'm saying and accept your mistake!"

"I never made a mistake."

"Yes, you did. You went to dinner with her - when I was ill. You never told me about her at all. You never told me that you knew her for a long time. Did you know that she even has relationship problems with her boyfriend? That's because she likes you! Doesn't that tell you something?"

Kakashi looks surprised. "…You said I could go. I'm sorry."

My jaw drops, and then I take a deep breath, then hold my arms up in defeat. "You know what? Fine, I give up, that's our disagreements over for today. I'm going home."

I stomp away from him and towards my front door. I jam the keys in the hole fiercely, unlock my door and march inside. You know, maybe it really is better if men lived on Mars and women lived on Venus. There's a boundary - I like that. There would be no contact between men and women. They know where they'll have crossed their lines, they'll be much better off without each other anyway.

"Goodnight, Kakashi."

Then I slam the door in his face.

I think he got the message.

………..

It's been a week since Mizuki's dinner and I've not spoken to Kakashi since. He hasn't said anything either. In fact, I rarely see him. I also haven't heard or seen Mizuki either. That's a good thing. If I see her, I'll be tackling her on the ground.

Argh, this is all my fault. I was being so sensitive and stupid. I was so afraid of losing Kakashi to some bimbo that…. I actually have. I'm so angry at myself. I was so stupid and rash.

In my hands, I have the invitation. It's for Kakashi. I hope he'll come, unless he's still not mad at me, that is. Hayato's wedding is in three days. I swallow, then post the invitation through his letter-slot, and then I can hear someone from the other side.

"Natsumi, is that you?" I can see the tiny dog leaping up and down trying to see me through the letterslot.

"Pakkun!" I exclaim in shock. "Where's… Kakashi?"

"He's out. You've best give him this yourself."

"No, please, can you give it to him?" I give him the most sympathetic look ever.

Pakkun sighs, then grabs the letter with his teeth and drags it inside. "Okay, I will."

………..

"Natsumi, you're drinking so much sake…"

I've been pondering so much that I don't actually realise that I'm sitting beside Mina at the bar and taking swigs out of the sake-bottle non-stop. It's only six o'clock, so me getting drunk at this hour is really pathetic.

"Meennnaaa… I'm such an bakaaaaa..." I drawl, letting my head plop on the table surface. My vision is blurry. I feel sick and nauseous again - just like last time - when I was with Kakashi. Ahh… Kakashi…. He hates meee….. Waaah!!

"Natsumi…."

"It's all my faultttt…."

"No, Natsumi. It wasn't. I'm sure Kakashi understands your actions…"

"Nooo, he doesn't… he thinks I'm stooooopid."

"Come on, let's go back home. You're really drunk…" Mina lifts me from the bar table and we both limp over to the exit. I'm drooling over her and my heads keeps lolling around.

"I want to go homeeee…."

"Yes, yes, we are, don't worry."

She escorts me back to our floor and tries to look for my keys in my bag while I slump over my shoulder. To make it easier for her, she lets me down and I egg roll towards my door, lying face flat on my mat (eurgh) Mina continues searching my bag, glancing worriedly at me. All she can find is secret photos of Kakashi asleep (but still with his mask on, or with the covers covering his face) and she sighs.

"You really like him, don't you?"

I'm already leaning against my door, half asleep.

"Yes…."

………………

In my dream, Kakashi came. My knight in shining armour. Hehe… I'm delirious. Why would he come and help me?

"Natsumi? Natsumi!!"

I can see Kakashi's face above me. What happened to Mina? I reach up to him and pinch at his cheeks.

"I'm not dreaming… am I…?" I rub my eyes tiredly. He's still there, with an arm on my shoulder.

"You're drunk, Natsumi." He picks me up in his arms and opens my front door.

"Where's Meenaaa?"

"I told her that I'd take it from here. Boy, was I right…"

I sniffle. "Jush leave me alone…." I slur at him, struggling to get out of his grasp. "Yoo hate meee…"

"Natsumi…."

"But right now… I'm cold and tired… and I really need you…." I wail out loud as Kakashi lets me down on the sofa.

He tries to pry my arms off his neck now.

"I'm such a bakaaaa…. I was soo scared and worried that I'd lose yooo….. I'm a bozoooo."

Kakashi blinks. "Natsumi, you - "

"I can't live without yoo……….!!!" Then I start sobbing. "It was such a stooped argument…. Call me silly…. I can live like that…..I gave yoo an invitation to Hayato's wedding….please come… I'll be alone and singleeee again…waah!"

"Natsumi…."

"Pleaseee….."

When I wake up. Was it really a dream? Kakashi is gone. And I'm a nervous wreck again.

………

I know now why Kakashi has heard of Hayato - it's because her future fourth husband is a jounin, who's invited all his jounin friends. Even Gai is here, and he's requested to be my escort, although I secretly hoped that Kakashi would be here. He wasn't. The wedding is set on the mountaintops of one of the main tourist attraction of Konoha - the ones where the mountain with the carved faces of the previous Hokages are. Its busy and filled with people, food and music, but I don't hear or see anything at all.

"Shujin? What are you doing here?"

"Eh, Hayato was a customer of mine a few months back…" The old lady claims, stuffing her face with food from the buffet. Then she looks at me up and down. "You look beautiful in that. But where is your partner, Kakashi?"

"Uh…."

"I told you you should've come to my counselling sessions."

"Thanks…. Excuse me, Shujin."

Mum and dad are crying in the corner when I approach them - actually, mum is. She can't believe how stunning I look, she says, and that it was a shame that Kakashi couldn't come. I bite my lip and smile anyway. Dad notices how teary-eyed I look now and tries his best to comfort me. He spots Gai who accepts to take me for a walk and drink.

"What's wrong?" Gai asks as he hands me a cup of sake.

"… Nothing…" I take one look at the sake and feel put off by it already.

The wedding goes by like a blur. I sit beside dad, who sits beside mum at the front row and watch, somewhat wondering when my time to stand at the altar would come. When Hayato reaches Tenka at the altar, everything is quiet. It seems to only last five seconds, not five. But I'm so happy for her. She accepts and hugs him tightly. Everyone cheers, stands up and claps their hands. We leave the podium site, everyone goes to congratulate her, and take photographs. So far, I'm featured in all of the photographs, smiling really awkwardly.

It's now Hayato's turn to throw her bouquet of flowers in the air. She has a back-up bouquet for the reception party, so she was eager to get rid of this one right now. She returns to stand on the altar, Tenka watching steadily beside her. She grins at him, then turns around - the remaining female guests and me, including Shujin - and pushing against one another to get ready to catch the incoming bouquet.

She tosses it without looking.

All the females go mad. I scream and try to calculate where it'll land. I want to catch it. I need to! I want to!

The bouquet is sailing back to earth towards my outstretched hand. Yes!! I've almost got it! My fingers touch the bottom of the bouquet. I look at my hand with a widening smile, then -

A brown flash flies past me and snatches the bouquet clean out of my sight.

My jaw drops.

Where'd it go??

Pakkun lands back on the ground, bouquet in his mouth. Everyone's silent for a moment, as Pakkun trots up to me and raises his head, wagging his tail.

"Pakkun?! What are you doing here? More importantly - You're not proposing to me, are you?!" I exclaim in shock - and worry.

"Behind you, idiot."

Who's behind me?

I turn around, to see Kakashi, who is walking up to me wearing appropriate attire for the wedding. He looks hot. I'm speechless and drooling somewhat, as he kneels down and scoops the bouquet from Pakkun's mouth and grins at me once he gets back up. The next thing I know, Kakashi has protruded the bouquet of flowers into my face.

"Yo."

All the girls swoon behind me. Even Shujin is banging her cane off the floor in anticipation.

"… You're…here." I breathe out uneasily. "I thought you were mad at me…"

"I'm really late though, sorry."

"It's okay…" I cock my head to the side. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I did a lot of thinking, and I can't live without you. That makes the two of us."

"Where you there…? At my house… when I was drunk?"

He nods. I cringe brightly. I ask the dreaded question, "Ahh - what did I say?!"

"A lot of stuff I wanted to hear." Kakashi grins.

I'm breathless. "Kakashi, I'm so sorry…"

"It's okay, really, Natsumi. I forgive you. Some of it was my fault, too. I wasn't paying much attention to Mizuki. I never do, actually. You're the centre of my attention most of the time - "

Aw gawd, this is so mushy-wushy. I don't care! I blush fiercely, Pakkun clears his doggy throat loudly beside us. Kakashi quickly adds to his sentence: " - and my dogs, I care about them a lot, too."

"So… we're okay, right?"

"Of course!" He grabs me around the waist and brings me close to him, then promptly hoists me in the air and I shriek, holding him tightly so I wouldn't fall off.

"Arghhh!! I do!!" I scream in glee. "I do! I really do!"

"Do what?"

"Get married to you, dummy! My answer's yes!"

"But I've not proposed - "

"You will soon!" I giggle.

We laugh, followed by the loud applause from Hayato, Tenka, my family and the guests. Even though Kakashi and I are in public, we don't have a care at all as long as we have each other, we're also lost in one other with no-one else around. I feel like the happiest person in the world. Just us. Me and Kakashi.

Can I imagine myself as Hatake Natsumi? Yes, I can!

**The End!**


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